With me
by JakeHarrisLover
Summary: SEQUEL TO SO CONTAGIOUS. Jake and Onyx Harris have been together little over a year and have already faced two mind blowing tragedies.Can they survive the pain,the Northwestern and Edgar Hansen? helps if you've read so contagious. R&R! DEADLIEST CATCH.
1. Chapter 1

**A shout out to XBlack7WidowX for being so supportive!  
And also for writing your amaaaazing Jake story! I'm in love with it :).**

Jake grasped his wife's hand tightly as he looked down at the smooth mound of earth. His vision was blurred slightly by tears and his shoulders shook as he sobbed. Jake glanced over at Onyx and quickly pulled her close to him. She looked as if she were going to collapse at any moment. Onyx buried her face in his chest and cried. Jake kissed the top of her heads but had no words to comfort her. _'How could this happen?'_ He thought miserably as tears streamed down his face. Jake looked over his shoulder and saw his brother standing with his head down. Josh looked up and gave him a half hearted smile. Jake couldn't bring himself to smile back so he focused on a point just over his brother's shoulder. There it was just yards away. His father's grave. It wasn't that long ago that they were there for his dad's funeral and the memory brought more tears to his eyes. Jake looked back down at the grave in front of him. Onyx pulled away from him to wipe her eyes and Jake crouched down in front of the tombstone. He reached out and stroked the words etched into the marble stone.

_Philip Hero Harris.  
Sometimes love is for a moment. Sometimes love is for a lifetime. Sometimes a moment is a lifetime._

After a few minutes Jake's hand fell limply at his side. This wasn't right. Nobody should ever have to go to their own baby's funeral. Onyx collapsed on the ground next to him. Jake grabbed her under her arms and pulled her to him.  
"This is all my fault." Onyx sobbed.  
"No baby you were so careful this isn't your fault." Jake replied hoarsely, "I don't know why this happened."  
"Take me home." Onyx pleaded as she rested her head on his shoulder. Jake nodded and stood up pulling her with him. "Josh I need to get her home." He quickly told his brother. Josh nodded and squeezed his shoulder. "I'll call you later ok?"  
"Yeah ok." Jake replied before turning and leading Onyx to the car.

They rode in complete silence except for the occasional sound of sniffling. Jake pulled into the drive way of their brand new house. It had seemed like the perfect size for a family but now that it going to be just the two of them the house seemed far too large. Jake stepped out of the car and waited for Onyx. He held out his hand for her and led her inside. He pulled back the bed covers and Onyx immediately crawled into the bed. Jake pulled her shoes off and then crawled in beside her. _'What did we do to deserve this?'_ Jake wondered. They had been together little over a year and they had already been through so much. Jake was a recovering addict, they had lost his father, and just when things started to look up Onyx went into labor prematurely. After being in the NICU for three days their baby passed away.

"Jake?" Onyx whispered.  
"What babe?" Jake replied.  
"Do you hate me?"  
"Why would you say that? I could never hate you."  
"I killed our baby."  
Jake felt her body begin to tremble and held her tighter.  
"It wasn't your fault."  
"It was my fault! My body couldn't support our son. He was a miracle and I ruined everything."  
"Onyx please..."  
Onyx cut him off, "I know its true and so do you!"  
"I don't know it's true." Jake said sternly, "Onyx we knew from the beginning you had a high risk pregnancy."  
He cleared his throat and tried to force back his tears.  
"At least we met him." Jake continued.  
"Wh...What do we do now?" Onyx mumbled sadly.  
"I don't know." Jake answered honestly.  
He rubbed Onyx's back until the tears subsided and she finally fell asleep. _'What do we do now?' _He found himself asking God. And the next moment he found himself cursing him. People often said that God was good and God was fair. But no good God would take his father and baby away from him in less than a year.

A few hours later Onyx woke up and carefully slid out from underneath Jake's arm. She walked slowly out of the room and down the hall. Onyx grasped the door handle to what would have been her baby's nursery. After a few minutes she finally worked up the courage to turn the handle. She stepped inside and gently closed the door. All of the baby furniture was still in boxes except for a crib in the corner of the room. She walked over and held on to the side for support. Onyx smiled as she remembered putting it together. She and Jake had done it together. They had spent the whole afternoon bickering about the best way to put it up. Onyx missed the bickering. When they bickered and teased each other they were truly happy. They hadn't so much as cracked a Joke since they lost baby Phil. Onyx turned around and looked at the mural painted on the opposite wall. It was of the Cornelia Marie and Jake's dad Phil. Onyx's lip began to tremble and she quickly looked away. Having a baby was one of the only things that kept her from thinking about Phil and now the loss of both of them consumed her thoughts. _'At least their together.'_ Onyx told herself but it did little to comfort her. Onyx turned back to the crib, lifted up the small pillow, and pulled out the only picture of her baby she had from underneath it. He was tiny but he looked incredibly like Jake. He had his nose, his lips, his chin, and even his eye brows. The only main differences were his skin color; he was darker than Jake he had gotten that from Onyx, and his eyes. He had bright blue eyes just like his grandfather.

Onyx jumped as Jake entered the room.  
"What are you doing?" He asked angrily. Jake kept telling Onyx he didn't want her spending all her time in the nursery. It wasn't healthy and being in there wasn't helping either one of them heal. Onyx put the picture back under the pillow and turned to face Jake. "I was... I was..." Her lip trembled as she stuttered, "I want him back Jake."  
Jake softened as she spoke and walked over to her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead. "It's going to be ok." He said. The words felt shallow and empty as he said them but he wanted just wanted to see his wife smile again.

The next morning Onyx was sleeping in and Jake was sitting in the living room watching a movie. He stared at the screen but didn't really see. Jake felt his phone vibrate and reached into his pocket. It was Josh. Jake hesitated before answering he wasn't in the mood to talk.  
"Hello?" He finally said.  
"Hey man. How are you?" Josh asked.  
Jake didn't answer. What the hell kind of question was that? He had been at his son's funeral just a few hours ago.  
"I'm sorry man that was stupid." Josh said after a few awkward moments.  
"Its fine. What's up?" Jake asked.  
"I know this is a really bad time Jake but I'm having some trouble getting the boat signed over into our names."  
"But we got the money!" Jake said angrily.  
"I know but Cornelia doesn't want to give up her stake in the boat." Josh replied just as angrily.  
"This is bullshit."  
"I know man."  
"What are we supposed to do? King crab starts in a few months."  
Josh sighed, "Well I can guarantee we won't have the boat by then and it can't fish without a captain."  
"Well what the hell are we going to do?"  
Josh cleared his throat, "Well I've been talking to Sig and Johnathon a lot lately."  
"Spit it out." Jake said his patience was waning and he was already annoyed.  
"I'm going to go work on the time bandit until we can get the Cornelia in our names."  
"What the hell am I supposed to do?"  
"You're going to be on the Northwestern." Josh continued. "What the hell did you just say?" Jake asked as he quickly stood up. Josh said Northwestern but all Jake saw was Edgar Hansen. There was nobody on the planet he hated more than Edgar.  
"You heard what I said." Josh replied wearily.  
"Why can't I go on the Time Bandit! You can go on the fucking Northwestern!"  
"Jake!" Josh yelled, "They are doing us a favor I am not going to start asking to make the conditions!"  
"Whatever!" Jake yelled back before hanging up and throwing his phone angrily on the couch.

A few seconds later Onyx entered the room, "What are you yelling about?" She asked.  
Jake sighed, "I'm sorry Onyx I didn't mean to wake you up." He replied.  
"It's ok. What's wrong?"  
"We can't get the boat in our name right now."  
Onyx stepped forward and grabbed his hand, "I'm sorry baby."  
"So I'm going to have to work on the Northwestern for a while." He added.  
"What?" Onyx asked as shock registered on her face.  
"Yeah I know I'm not happy about it either."  
"I don't want you working with that asshole Edgar!"  
"And you think I do?"  
Onyx drew herself up to her full height of 5'3."I'm going with you Jacob." She said boldly.  
Jake smiled for the first time in nearly two weeks, "Yeah right. Are you out of your mind?"  
"I'm serious Jake. I can't be without you. And do you really want to leave me here by myself?"  
Jake sighed in frustration, "You almost slept with Edgar Onyx!"  
"But I didn't! And besides your going to be there 24/7 so what's the big deal?"  
Jake sensed that Onyx wasn't going to give him so he fished around for another argument. "You can't just invite yourself onto someone's boat!" Jake said confidently, "there's no way Sig is going to let you on his boat."  
Onyx shook her head, "You're wrong Jake. Sig will understand that we need to be together and besides you forget how much he likes me."  
"Fine!" Jake said exasperatedly, "if you think you can get him to agree call him."  
"I will."  
Onyx kissed him and then headed back into their room. Jake sat down on the couch and smiled in spite of himself. He didn't want Onyx anywhere near Edgar Hansen and he didn't really expect Sig to say yes anyway. He was just happy Onyx was thinking about something other than their son for a change. Jake was hurting just as much as Onyx and was having just as hard of a time keeping their baby off of his mind, but her happiness was a lot more important to him that his own.  
_  
Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven  
Will it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven  
I must be strong, and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven_

_Would you hold my hand  
If I saw you in heaven  
Would you help me stand  
If I saw you in heaven  
I'll find my way, through night and day  
Cause I know I just can't stay  
Here in heaven_

_Time can bring you down  
Time can bend your knee  
Time can break your heart  
Have you begging please  
Begging please_

_Beyond the door  
There's peace I'm sure.  
And I know there'll be no more...  
__Tears in heaven_

_Would you know my name  
If I saw you in heaven  
Will it be the same  
If I saw you in heaven  
I must be strong, and carry on  
Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven_

_Cause I know I don't belong  
Here in heaven_

_**Tears in heaven- eric clapton**_

**pleaaaaaaaaaaaase REVIEW :)  
****i love the feedback!**__


	2. Chapter 2

Three weeks later Jake was standing in the kitchen narrowing his eyes at Onyx.  
"You're lying." He said sourly.  
"I told you Sig would say yes." Onyx replied triumphantly.  
"Wha...how?" Jake asked.  
"I told him that we weren't ready to be apart from each other. I also said I was a really good cook, I would keep the boat clean, and I would stay out of the guys' way."  
"What did he say back?" Jake was having a hard time believing Sig said she could be the Northwestern cook. Jake remembered his brother once asking Sig if he would ever let a girl on his boat. Sig had responded by shaking his head and cussing fluently under his breath.  
"He said he was sorry for our loss." Onyx looked away pointedly and stared the wall for a few moments before continuing, "Then he said Phil always said good things about me and he would give me a chance for him. "  
"That doesn't sound like Sig at all." Jake said slowly.  
"Oh and he also said if I did anything to fuck up his boat he would use me as bait."  
Jake smirked, "that sounds more like Sig. But you're still not going."  
Onyx frowned, "why not?"  
"Edgar."  
"Jake we've discussed this. Nothing is going to happen with him."  
Jake crossed his arms and looked down at Onyx. Jake had vowed to be less jealous and trust Onyx and so far he had done really well. But with Edgar it was different. He was the only guy besides himself that Onyx had every considered sleeping with. Jake wanted to rip him apart with his bare hands.  
"Jake!" Onyx continued, "After everything we've been through do you really think I would do anything with him?"  
"No." Jake replied as he unfolded his arms and wrapped them around her.  
"I can't spend a day without you Jake. I have dreams that you're gone and I wake up so scared."  
"I would never leave you. You know that."  
"Even though I piss you off sometimes?"  
Jake snorted, "You mean all the time? I'd be back on drugs in a second without you. After everything that's happened you're the only reason I wake up in the morning."  
Onyx rested her head on his chest, "So it's decided then. I'm going to be a part of the Northwestern crew."  
Jake sighed, "Yeah I guess so."  
Onyx gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then pulled away from him. "I love you Jacob," she said as she walked back into their bedroom.  
"I love you too." Jake replied a few moments to late.  
He sat back down on the couch and laid his legs down heavily onto the coffee table. He didn't want to be without Onyx. He would have been worried about her constantly. But there was not a single bone in Edgar Hansen's body that he trusted. Edgar would have loved nothing more than to steal Onyx away from him. Jake could see the lust in his eyes every time they were around him.

Jake muted the television as he heard a strange sound coming from his bedroom. He listened closely and rested his head on the back of the couch as he realized what it was. He stood up and walked slowly to the back of the house. He prayed for strength as he got closer to the bedroom. Jake knew that Onyx was inside crying. He hesitated before opening the door. Jake hated watching Onyx cry. Especially when he knew there was nothing he could say or do it make it better. It made him feel completely helpless, and helpless was not something Jake was ok with being.  
He pushed open the door and was unsurprised when he saw Onyx sitting on the floor hugging her knees. Jake sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Talk to me." He said quietly as he gently squeezed her shoulder.  
"I shouldn't be going fishing with you." She replied.  
"No you shouldn't but that never stopped you before."  
Jake frowned as his attempt to make her smile failed.  
"I should be staying here with our baby. I should be pissed off that you're going fishing and leaving me here. I want to be here wishing you would call so I could tell you all the adorable things our son did and how much he looks you."  
Jake swallowed and opened his mouth to reply. His mouth felt dry but his eyes were the complete opposite. Jake moved his arm from around Onyx and wiped his eyes. The loss of his child hit him harder that it had since his actual death. He and Onyx had created something that could only be described as a miracle. Onyx wasn't supposed to be able to get pregnant and the doctor told them numerous times it would be the only time she would ever be able to do so. Even though they were young they were both ecstatic to be parents. Onyx had done everything she could to have a safe pregnancy. She gained weight, she read every baby book she could get her hands on, and went to the doctor's office three times a week. Jake had also been an exceptional husband. He didn't snap at Onyx when she was acting moody, he went out on food runs for her whenever she asked, and when she wanted to stay in and _cuddle_ he was more than willing. All of it had been for nothing. Their baby had been stolen from then anyway. Jake could see in Onyx's eyes it was slowly tearing her apart. Before she got pregnant she weighed 100lbs and now she weighed about 90. She refused to eat and when she did she barely touched her food. Jake couldn't remember the last time he had really seen her smile. He knew she often forced a smile for his sake but it wasn't the same. Her natural smile never ceased to give him but butterflies. The forced one did little more than make him feel more depressed than he already was. "Baby I don't know what to say. Nothing I say can fix this." He finally managed.  
Onyx nodded, "I know...it just hurts so bad. It gets worse everyday." Jake pulled Onyx into his lap and kissed her. Really kissed her. He pulled away and placed another kiss on her forehead, "We'll be ok Onyx. I'm not going to feed you bullshit and tell you we'll be ok tomorrow or anything but one day we'll be able to move on. I promise."

Onyx kissed the tip of Jakes nose and slid off of his lap.  
"I'm taking a shower." She said smiling weakly. When Jake didn't return it her sad attempt at a smile slid off of her face. She knew Jake could see through it. Onyx headed into the bathroom and gently closed the door behind her. She believed Jake when he said they would be ok one day but it didn't make her feel any better at the moment. She was a failure. Simple as that, and no words could fix that. Not even coming from Jake. Onyx peeled off her clothes and ran her hands over her stomach. She frowned as she examined herself in the mirror. It was nearly impossible to tell that she had ever been pregnant. She was just as tiny as ever. The only differences that she could see were that her breasts and hips were slightly bigger. Onyx had gotten used to being pregnant and having her stomach constantly in the way. She remembered the countless times Jake would rest his head on her stomach as the baby kicked. _'You feel that?'_ He would say excitedly, _'He's so strong! He's going to be a better fucking deckhand than me!'_ She loved listening to Jake's fantasies about one day being the captain of The Cornelia Marie and having his son working out on deck. Mostly because that had been Onyx's dream too. A lot of fishermen's' wives didn't want their kids anywhere near a crab boat but Onyx wanted the complete opposite. She wanted nothing more that to see Jake follow in his dad's footsteps and baby Phil follow in Jake's. Onyx tore her eyes away from the mirror and turned on the shower. She relaxed slightly as the hot water rained down on her. Cold air stung her back as the shower curtain slid open. Onyx didn't bother turning around; it wad rare that she took a shower without Jake joining her. Onyx leaned back against his chest as he wrapped his arm around her stomach. Jake brushed her hair out of the way and placed a kiss on her shoulder. He spun her around and kissed her, gently biting her lower lip as he pulled away. Jake held her close to him and rested his head on top of hers. He didn't say anything but Onyx was still comforted. His body close to hers was one of her favorite feelings. It was a different kind of intimacy than sex and she loved it.

A few hours later Onyx and Jake were lying together on the couch. Jake was sleeping but Onyx was wide awake. Jake's deep breathing caused Onyx's hair to move slightly and she could feel his heartbeat against her back. Jake hadn't been sleeping much lately and Onyx assumed it was her fault. At night she tossed and turned making it hard for him to get comfortable or she sat up crying. Jake sat with her every single time she cried. It made her feel incredibly guilty. Onyx wore all of her emotions on her sleeve while Jake bottled everything up. She knew he was hurting just as bad as she was but he was so concerned about making her feel better he was neglecting himself. Onyx did whatever she could to comfort Jake in return but he refused to open up to her. She could see that he wanted to but he just didn't know how. Onyx snuggled herself closer to him and Jake instinctively held her tighter. She closed her eyes but didn't try to sleep. She thought about Phil her father in law and Phil her son. Onyx had known them both for an incredibly short amount of time but they somehow managed to changer her forever. The thought of going fishing without being able to sit in the wheel house with Phil and talk about anything and everything made tears swim in her eyes. Sorrow spread through her as she thought about him never meeting his grandson, but then she realized he probably knew her son a lot better than she did.

**pwease review :)**


	3. Chapter 3

A month later Jake and onyx arrived in Unalaska and were sitting in the rental car outside of the local bar.  
"Are you ready to go inside?" Jake asked.  
"No." Onyx replied.  
"Why not?"  
"Your dad isn't in there."  
Jake looked at her expressionless for a moment before responding. "It will be ok and besides if he were here he'd be yelling at us to hurry up and get the hell out of the car."  
Onyx nodded, "ok let's go." Once they stepped out of the car Onyx quickly walked around and grabbed his hand. "Chill." Jake said with a laugh.  
"I am chill." Onyx replied sourly.  
Jake smirked, "whatever you say."

As they walked inside Onyx tried to ignore they many stares they were receiving. Most of the stares she assumed were because of the loss of Phil but judging by the looks on some of their faces they also knew about their baby. "Makes you feel like a celebrity doesn't it?" Josh said darkly as they reached his table.  
"Yeah something like that." Jake replied sourly as they sat down. Josh shook his head, "I can't believe we're fishing on different boats this year. I love the Cornelia."  
Onyx saw Jake's expression darken. "Yeah. I hope I don't end up murdering Edgar."  
Josh rolled his eyes, "Shut up Jake. Why do you even hate him so much? Yeah he hit on Onyx but... everyone hits on Onyx."  
Onyx grabbed Jake's hand under the table to stop him from lashing out. "I just don't like him." Jake replied clearly trying to control the volume of his voice.  
"You should be grateful to him."  
Jake narrowed his eyes, "What the hell for?"  
"He's the one who came up with the idea for me to work on the Time Bandit and you to work on the Northwestern. If he didn't talk to Sig about it neither one of us would have jobs." Onyx looked back and forth between Jake and Josh waiting for the explosion. What Edgar did sounded nice but Onyx knew better than to believe it was out of the kindness of his heart. He could have easily suggested that Jake be the one to work on the Time Bandit. Edgar wanted Jake on the Northwestern for a reason.  
"It was Edgar's idea?" Jake's voice shook with anger as he spoke. Josh nodded as he brought his beer to his lips.  
"We should say hi to Sig." Onyx piped up before Jake had the chance to flip the table over. "Ok." Jake said reluctantly after a few tense moments. Onyx grabbed Jake's hand and led him across the room to the captains' table. "Hi sig." Onyx said sweetly. Sig smiled and stood up, "heissan vakker!" He gave her a quick one armed hug and then turned his attention to Jake. Sig held out his hand and Jake immediately reached out and shook it. "How are you kid?" Sig asked. The simple question was full of hidden emotion. "I'm...fine." Jake replied, "Thank you so much for letting us on your boat."  
"Don't worry about it. Your dad was always there for me so I owe it to him to be there for you and besides I know you're a hard worker. I would hire you even if you weren't Phil's kid." Jake smiled. "Thank you." He mumbled. Sig looked at Onyx and winked, "Phil told me you've got a lot of sass. Maybe you can keep the boys in line."  
Onyx laughed, "I think I can do that."  
"And how exactly are you planning on keeping me in line?" Edgar asked as he appeared at Sig's side. Onyx shrugged and looked away from him.  
"Don't start harassing her already!" Sig said sternly, "You've got a whole month to do that."  
"I look forward to it." Edgar replied.  
Jake's expression hardened but it luckily went unnoticed by Sig.

"Why don't we go talk outside." Jake asked Edgar even he was surprised by how calm he had managed to sound. Onyx shot him a warning look but Jake chose to ignore it. Edgar smirked, "sure kid." Anger and hatred bubbled in the pit of his stomach. If he had a knife he would have stabbed him to death right then and there. Onyx watched him helplessly  
and sat down between Sig and Johnathon. Jake turned and made his way out of the bar; Edgar walking alongside him.  
Once they were outside they both lit a cigarette. "So I hear it was your idea for me to work on your boat." Jake said coldly as he exhaled smoke.  
"It was." He replied simply.  
"Why?"  
Edgar laughed, "Look kid don't read to much into it. I just wanted to help out."  
Jake snorted, "Whatever. Just stay the hell away from Onyx."  
"That's going to be kind of hard considering we'll be on a boat together, but don't worry I have no interest in her. I've already been down that road."  
Jake wanted to knock him out but knew Sig would have been furious with him.  
"I mean it Edgar. I will fucking kill you."  
Edgar took one last drag off of his cigarette and then crushed it under his foot. "Whatever you say kid." He replied before walking back inside. Jake angrily threw his empty beer bottle against the wall and then went back inside. What irritated him most about Edgar was that he never took his threats seriously. What he didn't understand was that if it came down to it Jake would literally kill him.

When they finally went to the boat Onyx was relieved to find out she and Jake would be sharing a room with Jake Anderson and Nick Mavar not Edgar. Onyx had met Jake A. the season before and thought he was a sweetheart. Nick seemed to be a pretty nice guy as well. She didn't even want to think about what it would be like if they were sharing a room with Edgar. Onyx sat her duffle bag down on her bed. It was a nice change to be on the bottom bunk.

The guys were all up in the wheel house talking to Sig so Onyx took the opportunity to look around the room. It was completely different from the Cornelia Marie. She hadn't realized until then that she wouldn't be working with Freddie or Ryan. Onyx had a lot of good times with them and suddenly missed them incredibly. Even though she had just seen Josh she found herself missing him as well. Onyx knew he got along with the Time Bandit boys and was happy for him, but he was like her brother. He had always been there for her when she fought with Jake. He was the only other person alive who understood Jake's temper.

Onyx looked up as Edgar entered the room. "What the hell do you want?"  
Edgar smiled and leaned against the wall, "You better watch yourself cupcake this is my boat remember."  
Onyx rolled her eyes, "Why did you suggest that Jake work with you?"  
"I already told your husband I was trying to help."  
Onyx folded her arms, "yeah but that was a lie."  
Edgar licked his lips, "You're a smart girl."  
"Tell me the truth." She demanded.  
Edgar walked across the room and stood in front of her. "Ok ill tell you the truth princess." Onyx's heart was racing. She knew whatever the truth was it wasn't good.  
"I suggested that he work for us because you two are practically attached to the hip."  
Onyx glared at him and stood up, "Why the hell does that matter?"  
"I knew he'd bring you with him," Edgar continued, "and I want you Onyx. That little taste you gave me wasn't enough. I know you still want me too. When you let your guard down I'm going to rock your world."  
"You're delusional." Onyx spat, "You're out of your fucking mind if you think I'm not going to tell Jake."  
Edgar smiled and stepped closer to her, "you're not going to tell Jake."  
"What the hell are you talking about? Of course I'm going to tell him!"  
"Obviously little Jakey is going to flip out and probably try to attack me if you tell him. Well the captain isn't going to be real thrilled about that is he? Jake will get fired then where's he going to go?" Onyx bit her lip. Edgar was right. She couldn't tell Jake. He really needed this job. All of their money went to buying a house, trying to buy the Cornelia Marie, and medical bills. "Get out." Onyx said coldly.  
"See you later beautiful." Edgar replied with a smirk," I'm in the next room if you need me." Onyx flipped him off as he exited the room. Onyx lay down on her bed and thought about all the horrible things she wanted to happen to Edgar. Edgar Hansen was undeniably an attractive man, but she wanted nothing to do with him. She had already risked her relationship with Edgar and she wouldn't ever let it happen again. Jacob Harris was the only one for her. At the moment her relationship with Jake was in an incredible vulnerable place and she had a very strong feeling that Edgar would spend the season doing everything he could to tear it apart.

**for all you non Norwegians 'heissan vakker' means 'hi there beautiful'**  
**please review :) ill love you foreveeeeer**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I want to dedicate this chapter to aveeno. Your reviews are always anonymous but they are always amazing and every time I get one I want to start writing right away! Thanks so much for reading my stories :).**

**Also I know Edgar is really out of character, but its for the sake of the story. Besides who doesn't love naughty Edgar? Anywhoo my next story is going to be about him :). Finally Edgar won't be the bad guy! He's going to get some lovin :).**

When Onyx woke up the next morning she was the only one in the stateroom. She could hear yelling and loud banging sounds and knew the guys were outside working. Onyx pulled on a pair of leggings and one of Jake's t-shirts and then exited the room. She slowly made her way up to the wheel house. "Hey Sig." She said as she entered the room. "heissan vakker." He replied as he sipped his coffee. "Hvordan har du?" Onyx asked with a smile. Sig laughed, "been practicing you're Norwegian I see. I'm fine how are you?"  
Onyx shrugged and sat down in the co captains chair, "I'm ok I guess."  
Sig turned to her and raised a questioning eyebrow, "what are you doing?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Why the hell are you sitting in my co captains' chair?"  
"Oh I don't know... I'm sorry." She replied as she stood up, "I'm used to sitting in the wheel house with Phil."  
Sig sipped his coffee and studied her for a moment, "I guess you can stay... but don't make a habit out of it. And don't touch anything."  
Onyx smiled and sat back down. "Don't you get lonely up here?" She asked.  
"Not particularly." Sig mumbled, "I hope you don't expect me to start talking about my feelings because if you do you've got another thing coming."  
Onyx laughed, "No I was just curious."  
The smile was wiped off of her face as Edgar entered the wheel house from the upper deck. Edgar grinned broadly at her making her blood boil. "Junior and I are heading to the grocery store. Onyx needs to come with us." He said as he wiped sweat off his brow.  
Onyx gave him the dirtiest look she could before turning her attention to Sig. "There is no reason for three people to go to the goddamn grocery store." Sig replied irritably, "do you and junior need her to babysit you?"  
Edgar rolled his eyes, "the sooner we get done at the grocery store the sooner we can get back here and stack pots." Sig thought for a moment and then nodded, "I expect you back here in two hours instead of the usual three." Edgar saluted him and left the wheel house they way he came. Sig turned to Onyx, "I mean it you better hurry up."  
"Ok." Onyx replied trying to hide how annoyed she was.  
She waved goodbye and then went downstairs to grab a sweater and pull on her boots.

Jake looked up as Edgar made his way back on deck. He wanted to knock the smug look he was sporting off of his face. "Junior!" Edgar called, "You, Onyx, and I are going to the grocery store." Edgar's eyes locked on Jake as he spoke and if it were possible he began to look even smugger than before. "When?" Jake A. called back.  
"Oh whenever you're ready." Edgar replied sarcastically as he turned his attention from Jake to Jake A.,"NOW princess! Unless you're still waiting for your nail polish to dry!" Jake A. mumbled under his breath as he walked over to Edgar. Edgar smiled at Jake, "Don't worry we'll take care of Onyx." Jake's jaw was clenched and he was itching to attack Edgar. "You gotta calm down." Nick said with a laugh as he appeared at Jake's side. "I am calm." Jake replied.  
Nick laughed, "You say one thing but your face says another. You're new on this boat and Edgar is going to do everything he can to make life as hard as possible for you. You know that's what fishermen do."  
Jake nodded.  
"He's going to pick at the one thing that he knows will bother you." Nick continued, "Unfortunately that's your wife. You just have to brush it off."  
Jake forced a smile, "Yeah I will. Thanks."  
Nick clapped him on the back and went back to work.  
Jake wished that what Nick said was true. He knew Edgar was going to do everything he could to use Onyx to piss him off but it wasn't for the reasons Nick thought.

Jake bent down and continued working and a few minutes later Onyx appeared on deck. "I'm going to the grocery store with Edgar." She said sourly.  
Jake straightened up and pulled off one of his gloves; and ran his hand through his hair. "Yeah I heard." He said darkly. Jake studied her to make sure she was sufficiently covered. She was wearing one of his shirts and a sweater. His eyes traveled downward after deciding it was acceptable. His eyes narrowed slightly. "Why are you wearing leggings?"  
"I always wear leggings." She replied.  
"I know but when you wear leggings the shape of your ass is like... really defined."  
Onyx laughed, "Your joking right? Do you want me to change or something?"  
Jake weighed his options. If he told Onyx he wanted her to change she would think he didn't trust her and it would undoubtedly come back to bite him in the ass in a future argument. On the other hand if he didn't ask her to change Edgar would surely stare at her ass the whole time they were gone. Edgar claimed that he wasn't interested in Onyx anymore but Jake didn't believe it for a second. You didn't just lose interest in a girl like her. Jake sighed, "Just try and keep your shirt pulled down ok?"  
Onyx smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek before jumping onto the dock an walking over to Edgar and Jake A. Jake took some satisfaction at the bitter look on Edgar's face.

Onyx flipped Edgar off as she got closer to them making Jake A. laugh. "Your sexy when your being rude." Edgar said with a smile. Jake A. gave him an incredulous look but Edgar ignored him. "Fuck off." Onyx replied irritably. Jake A. gave Edgar an even more incredulous look when he did nothing more than laugh at her reply. Onyx stood next to Jake A. so she could get as far away from Edgar as possible. "What's up Jake?" Onyx asked.  
"It feels weird calling you Jake." She added.  
He smiled, "just call me Junior."  
She paused, "Nah ill call you Jakey."  
Jake A. gagged, "that sounds gross."  
Onyx laughed, "Jakey it is."  
Jake A. grimaced making Onyx laugh harder.  
"What are you going to call me?" Edgar cut in wiping the smile off of her face.  
"Dickhead." Onyx spat.  
"Nah I was thinking something hotter. Like daddy if you're feeling kinky."  
Onyx stopped in her tracks and went to slap Edgar across the face but Jake A's reflexes were too fast. He grabbed her arm mid swing and pinned it down at her side.  
"What the fuck is going on?" He asked, confusion was written all over his face.  
"Nothing!" Edgar and Onyx said in unison.  
"But you just..."  
"Shut it Junior!" Edgar yelled cutting him off.  
They hopped in Edgar's truck and Onyx stared out the window the entire way to the grocery store. They hadn't even left Dutch yet and she already wanted to kill Edgar. She already had a lot on her mind and now she had to worry about Edgar and whatever plans he had to sabotage her relationship.

A few minutes later they arrived at the grocery store. Onyx hopped out of the truck and attempted to slam the door behind her. "Ow!" Jake A. Exclaimed  
Onyx turned around to see Jake A. Halfway out of the truck massaging his leg. "I'm so sorry!" Onyx said as she brought her hands to her mouth in surprise. Jake's eyes were streaming but he smiled at her all the same. "I'm fine Onyx. Just for future reference when you're mad at Edgar please don't take it out on me."  
Onyx gave him a wide smile, "ill keep that in mind."  
"Let's go!" Edgar yelled as he stepped out of the truck.  
Onyx rolled her eyes and followed Edgar and Jake A. into the grocery store. "Should we split up?" Jake A. asked.  
"Yep." Edgar replied.  
"I'm going with Jakey." Onyx cut in.  
Edgar rose an eyebrow, "You're not seriously calling him that are you?"  
Onyx crossed her arms, "I am actually."  
"Whatever."  
Onyx glanced over her shoulder at Edgar as she and Jake A. Walked away_. 'I wonder why he isn't trying to stop me from going with him?'_ She thought to herself. Edgar winked at her and she immediately turned back around _'dick.'_

Onyx and Jake A. walked down the aisles and chatted aimlessly. Jake A. glanced over at Onyx and cleared his throat, "So what's with you and Edgar?"  
"Nothing." Onyx quickly replied. She realized too late that the way she answered made it sound like there definitely was something going on.  
"Sure." He smiled, "You can trust me."  
Onyx studied him for a moment. There were very few people in her life that she trusted. She trusted her husband, his brother, and she had trusted their father. For some reason though she believed she could trust Jake A.  
Onyx sighed, "Last year Jake and I got into this really huge fight. I went to the bar to blow off some steam and Edgar was there. He took me back to my hotel and... Some stuff happened. It was a mistake but he won't let it go."  
"Woah." Jake A. replied, "Does Jake know?"  
"Yeah he knocked on the door while Edgar was still in the room."  
"He must have flipped out."  
Onyx smiled, "Yep he punched him in the face."  
Jake laughed, "oh shit! Edgar is like my hero but sometime I wish that I could punch him in the face."  
"Oh really?" Edgar asked. Jake A's eyes widened and he glanced at Onyx. Onyx grimaced and shrugged as they both turned to face him. "Having fun?" Edgar asked.  
"Ed I'm sorry." Jake A. said quietly.  
Edgar smiled, "Don't worry Junior I want to punch you in the face at least three times a day. Go get the coffee."  
Jake A. nodded and walked away.  
Onyx folded her arms across her chest, "Why are you such an asshole to Jakey?"  
"He needs tougher skin. Why do you keep calling him Jakey?"  
"Jealous?" Onyx spat.  
Edgar licked his lips, "am I that obvious?"  
"I hate you."  
"Don't worry baby I hate you too."  
Onyx opened her mouth to yell at him but decided not to waste her breath. She turned around and continued to push the basket down the aisle. Edgar quickly caught up to her. "When are you going to spread those legs for me?"  
Onyx turned around and smacked him across the face. She was grateful that Jake A. wasn't around to stop her that time. Edgar barely flinched and she cursed how tiny she was. "Don't ever do that again." Edgar said without the slightest hint of a smile. "Don't ever talk to me like that." Onyx replied. She wasn't intimidated by the glare he was giving her. After a few intense moments Edgar broke into a smile, "I'm not an asshole you know."  
"Could have fooled me." Onyx said with disgust.  
"I'm really not. You just drive me crazy."  
"And what about me drives you crazy? I think you're just fucking crazy in general."  
"That petite body of yours, all those tattoos, that cute little hoop in your nose, and there's just something different about you. Something that I like."  
"Well get over it! because I'm Jake's."  
"For now."  
"You don't honestly think that if we broke up you'd have a chance do you?"  
"I think I have a chance right now. I don't need you two to break up."

Onyx continued walking and heard Edgar chuckle behind her. She was so incredibly annoyed with him she couldn't take it. Onyx almost wished she had stayed home in Washington. "What the hell are you laughing at?" she asked.  
"Nothing. But your ass looks really good in those leggings. It's bigger since the last time I saw you. Pregnancy did you good." Onyx spun around angrily. She was in complete shock. Onyx could see on Edgar's face that even he knew he went to far. "Don't... You ever! I swear to god... fucking kill you." She was so angry she couldn't speak properly.  
"I'm sorry." Edgar said slowly. She knew he meant it but she could care less.  
"My baby is dead." She said breathing heavily, "how dare you even make a joke about my pregnancy." Her eyes welled up and she turned away from him. Edgar was the last person she wanted to see her cry. He walked around and gripped the front of the basket. "Look Onyx I'm a dick I know it. I shouldn't have said that. That was fucked up even by my standards. You're not interested in me so the next best thing is getting a rise out of you. I'm sorry. I won't make any fucked up comments towards you again. I know you're in love with Jake ok? I'll back off. I swear."  
Onyx studied him. She was waiting for his face to crack into a smile. When it didn't she cocked her head to the side and crossed her arms. "Promise me."  
"I promise."  
"Can we try and be friends?"  
"Uhhhh... how about ill think about it?"  
Edgar smirked, "deal."

They finished their shopping in a civil manner and then headed back to the boat. On the drive home Jake A. kept glancing back and forth between the two of them and Onyx knew he was wondering why they weren't yelling at each other. When they arrived Onyx jumped onto the deck and wrapped her arms around Jake. "I love you." She said with a smile. Jake narrowed his eyes, "what do you want?"  
"Nothing." she replied as she poked out her bottom lip.  
Jake laughed, "I'm serious. How much money did you spend?"  
"Jake!"  
"I'm kidding. I love you too."  
Onyx stood on her tippy toes and kissed the tip of his nose. "I have to tell you something."  
Jake rolled his eyes, "I knew you were telling me you loved me for a reason."  
Onyx feigned shock, "Jake I tell you I love you about a dozen times a day."  
Jake smiled, "ok tell me whatever you need to tell me."  
Onyx told Jake all about Edgar's apology and his promise to back off. She also told him about him asking to be friends. Onyx decided to leave out all the things Edgar had said prior to that conversation. She knew Jake would have a heart attack. All the same Jake's smile faded with every word she spoke. He furrowed his eyebrows and gazed over her shoulder. There was no need for her to turn around and see who he was looking at. She could tell by the look of disgust on his face he was looking at Edgar.  
"He's fucking crazy. You two will never. I mean _never_ be friends."  
"I know." She replied. Onyx had anticipated his response before she even told him. It didn't particularly bother her it wasn't as if she wanted to be friends with Edgar anyway. He was the least trustworthy person she had ever met.

A few hours later they finally set off. Onyx was standing on the upper deck enjoying the breeze and the familiar smell of the Bering Sea. Sig didn't trust her as much as Phil did so upper deck was as close to the actual deck as she was allowed to get. Her hair whipped around her as the boat picked up speed. She waved as Jake smiled up at her. Her hand fell limply at her side when she saw Edgar smile up at her as well. After a few more minutes Onyx went back inside to clean the galley. Her thoughts and feelings were jumbled and it was driving her crazy. Being at Sea again made her miss Phil. It also helped sink in the fact that she didn't have a baby to stay at home with. She wanted to be in a normal relationship with Jake again instead of constantly walking on egg shells around each other. Her relationship with Jake had never actually been normal to most people. They jumped into marriage after three weeks of knowing each other and it had been a roller coaster ever since but it was normal to Onyx; and she wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world. Her mind also kept drifting to Edgar. She was extremely unhappy about being on a boat with him, but she could help but think about how genuine he seemed when he apologized to her. It was the first time she had ever seen him that way and it shocked her_. 'This is going to be a long season.'_ She thought to herself as she continued to scrub the galley table.

**please review** :)  
**ill love you forever (and ever)**


	5. Chapter 5

A few days later Onyx was standing in the kitchen rushing to cook the crew breakfast. On the Cornelia Marie she was able to cook at her leisure, but on the Northwestern Sig had a schedule that he demanded be followed. Or else. When Onyx finished she rapped on the galley window getting Matt Bradley's attention. Matt waved the guys over and the quickly headed inside. Onyx walked up the stairs to the wheel house. "Do you want me to bring your plate up or do you want to eat in the galley with the guys?" She asked. Sig reluctantly tore his gaze away from the window." When Matt finishes eating send him up and then ill come down." He replied. Onyx nodded and went back down the stairs. She sat down next to Jake at the galley table and pecked him on the cheek. "None of that!" Matt Bradley said through a mouthful of pancake. Edgar took a drink of his orange juice and looked over at Matt. "Who's authority are you exactly?" He asked. Onyx looked over at him and raised a questioning eyebrow . Edgar gave her a half shrug in return. Jake caught Onyx's eyes and she quickly looked down at her plate. She sensed Jake was still looking at her so she looked back up at him and smiled. Jake shook his head an inch to each side. His movement was so subtle Onyx barely caught it. All the same she knew he was telling her not to acknowledge Edgar.

A few minutes later Matt finished eating and went upstairs to trade places with Sig. Onyx smiled at Sig as entered the room he sat down. "Heissan Vakker." He said smiling back. Onyx felt Jake stir next to her and she looked over at him. He was picking moodily at his eggs with his fork. Onyx had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes. _'Not this again.'_ She thought to herself. Sig quickly finished his food and wiped his hands on an old towel. "We've got a two hour run to the next string." He said as he brought his glass of orange juice to his lips. Sig drained it and continued, "so I suggest you take advantage of it and get some rest." The guys nodded and mumbled in acknowledgment. Sig stretched and headed back up to the wheel house. Onyx lent in to whisper in Jake's ear. "Want to take a shower?" Jake took one last bite of his food and nodded. Jake A. wolf whistled as they stood up. Onyx winked and flipped him off before turning her back on him.

Onyx quickly grabbed some towels and clothes then met Jake in the bathroom. They undressed and then stood closely together under the hot water. Onyx wrapped her arms around Jake's neck. "What's wrong?" She asked.  
"Nothing." He replied.  
"Jacob your a bad liar."  
"Onyx nothing is wrong." He said angrily.  
Onyx removed her arms from his shoulders and attempted to back away from him. Unfortunately the shower was about half the size of a normal shower. "Tell me what's wrong Jake." She demanded.  
"Nothing! It just kind of sucks that my wife doesn't pay any attention to me. Your too busy flirting."  
Onyx covered her chest with her arms. After being together for over a year Onyx was still uncomfortable being naked in front of him when she was upset. "I am not flirting with anyone! You're supposed to trust me!"  
"Well its kind of hard considering your drooling over every fucking guy on this boat but me."  
Onyx stared at him with her mouth slightly open. Jake had to be joking. He was out of his mind if he was serious.  
"Tell me your kidding." Onyx said incredulously  
"I'm not kidding." He replied, "All the sudden Edgar is trying to be a nice guy. You expect me to believe he had an epiphany or something? Its because he's still trying to get with you. What about your new best friend _Jakey_? You can't get enough of him. And we can't forget about Sig. You're up in the wheel house every chance you get. He's always calling you beautiful and shit! You just sit there and smile like I'm not here."  
"Jake its called being nice. I don't even talk to Edgar. He said sorry excuse me for not being a complete bitch to him. Jake A. is the only friend I have on this boat besides you. Is it so wrong for me to want to have a friend? And Sig is happily married Jake! One if his daughters is almost the same age as me. He sees me as a little girl. I think its really messed up that after everything we've been through you still don't trust me. You told me you changed."  
Jake looked at a point above her head instead of actually looking at her. "You don't even make love to me anymore Onyx." He mumbled.  
"The doctor said we were supposed to wait..."  
Jake cut her off,"five weeks Onyx. In case you haven't noticed its been a lot longer than five weeks."  
The truth was Onyx hadn't really thought about the fact it had been more than five weeks. Obviously she _knew_ it had been longer but she hadn't really put two and two together. She was in way to much pain to think about sex and now she realized how badly that must have made Jake feel. With Jake sex was a way of reconnecting. After a fight Onyx knew Jake didn't really feel like they'd made up until after they'd made love. Onyx wrapped her arms around Jake's waist. "I'm sorry Jake. I just haven't been.."  
"I know... You haven't been thinking about it." Jake finished for her," I wish I could say the same."  
"I'm been hurting Jake."  
"And I haven't?"  
"I didn't say that." Onyx's temper was slowly rising and clearly Jake's was close to boiling over. "What do you want me to say?" Onyx continued,"that I won't talk to anyone on the boat but you and ill have sex with you whenever you want?"  
"Yeah something like that."  
Onyx rolled her eyes and yanked open the shower curtain. "Your selfish." She said angrily as she dried herself off.

Jake stepped out and wrapped a towel around his waist. Jake grabbed Onyx's wrists and pulled her towards him. "I don't want to fight with you Onyx." He said as he wrapped his arms around her. "Then stop being an asshole." She replied. Jake forced himself not to say something rude back to her. "We've been through way to much to be fighting over dumb shit like this." She continued.  
"I know. I'm sorry. Its just Edgar he..."  
Onyx cut him off,"You don't seriously think Edgar is a threat do you?"  
"Yeah." Jake admitted, "all these different scenarios keep playing in my head. In all of them you leave me for him. Its driving me crazy. Then I see you talking to Jake A. and Sig and it makes it worse."  
"I don't know how many more times I can tell you I don't want anybody but you! When are you going to get it through your head? Your like talking to a brick wall Jacob." Onyx pulled away from him and placed her hands on her hips. Jake rolled his eyes."You don't understand." He said quietly. "What don't I understand?" Onyx asked.  
Jake instantly looked uncomfortable and irritated. It was the same look he always got when Onyx forced information out of him. He hated talking about his feelings. Absolutely hated it. "You don't understand how much I love you. There's a million guys out there better than me and one day your going to realize it." Jake sighed exasperatedly and continued,"then when you don't want to have sex with me it makes me feel like I gross you out or something."  
"You are out of your mind Jacob if you believe there is someone better for me than you. I could never think your gross. I think your the most beautiful person on the planet." Jake raised an eyebrow and scrunched his face at her calling him beautiful. " Listen to what your saying Jacob." She continued, "you don't even sound like yourself. when we met you were soooo cocky remember?"  
"Everything changed when I met you. I always thought I was fucking amazing and anybody would be lucky to be with me. Then I met you and for the first time a girl intimidated me. I couldn't figure out why you would even give me the time I day. I still can't figure it out."  
Onyx smiled and allowed him to wrap his arms back around her. "Jake I love you so much. The best part of me is you." She said quietly,"please just trust me. Edgar is nothing compared to you."  
Jake kissed her on the top of her head,"please just stay away from him."  
Onyx nodded,"I will."  
Jake had never felt so insecure in his life. He didn't know why but a feeling of dread had settled in the pit of his stomach.

They pulled on their clothes and headed to their room so Jake could get a quick nap before heading back on deck. They snuggled close together and Onyx ran her fingers in small circles over Jake's chest. She made a mental note to make Jake feel as appreciated as she possibly could. Jake's behavior was bothering her immensely. He usually didn't have any confidence issues but sometimes he would break down and tell her things that broke her heart. She wondered if he ever felt truly confident or if it was all an act. _'He's a really good actor if that's the case._' She thought to herself.

A few hours later the crew was back on deck and Jake was standing near the ready room far from the rail. The weather was heavy and Sig wouldn't let him get anywhere near it. It was irritating Jake beyond belief. He wanted to show Sig how good of a deckhand he was, and how was he supposed to do that lurking by the bait bin. He'd been fishing crab for six years. Jake knew exactly how to do his job. Jake took a drag off of his cigarette and watched as the a pot was pulled aboard. _'Finally._' Jake thought as he rushed forward to sort the crab. He glanced over to his right he was standing next to Edgar. Jake quickly looked away and turned his attention to a crab desperately trying to pinch his hand. Jake unceremoniously tossed it down the shoot and cursed under the breath. Edgar laughed and told them a story about a crab who nearly snapped off four of his fingers. Everyone laughed at the story. Everyone except Jake. This didn't go unnoticed by Edgar who leaned in closer to jake and outstretched his hand. "How about we forget everything and try to get along?" Edgar asked. Jake looked down at his hand but didn't reach out and shake it. "You tried to sleep with my wife." Jake said bitterly. "Yeah I did." Edgar admitted," I already apologized to her for everything. But you and I are crew members. Our lives our in each others hands. How about we at least agree to leave our problems at the docks. Its uncomfortable for everyone else on board if there is constantly tension between us." _'Is he out of his fucking mind?"_ Jake wondered vaguely. Jake reached forward and shook his hand unenthusiasticaly mostly to get him to stop talking to him. Edgar clapped him on the back and continued to sort. Jake was starting to hate Edgar even more. He wasn't stupid. Jake knew that Edgar's nice guy thing was all an act. He just wanted to gain Onyx's trust so he could make another move.

Many hours later Onyx poked her head out of the ready room to tell the guys she had made them sandwiches. Edgar was the first one inside. "Hey Onyx." Edgar said with a smile as he grabbed a sandwhich off the plate she was carrying. "Umm. Hi." She replied awkwardly.  
"What's wrong with you?" Edgar asked through a mouthful of sandwich.  
"Look I'm just going to be honest with you." Onyx replied,"I can't talk to you."  
"Why not?"  
"Jake doesn't want me to."  
"And you just let him control you like that?"  
"Mind your own business." Onyx shot at him. Before Edgar could reply the other guys entered the room. Jake eyed her suspiciously as he entered. Onyx smiled at him and handed Norman Hansen the plate. She grabbed Jake around the neck and placed a sensual kiss on his lips. She gently bit Jake's lip as she pulled away. Jake raised his eyebrows at her but his playful grin spread across his face. Onyx turned and left the ready room without another word. _'Edgar is a dick._' She thought to herself,_'If I wanted to talk to him I would! With or without Jake's permission. Jake doesn't control me!… Does he?' _Onyx shook the thoughts away and climbed into her bunk to read.

Five hours later the guys came inside and Jake was the first to enter their room. "Where's everyone else?" Onyx asked as he sat down beside her and pulled a sweat shirt over his head. "Playing cards." Jake replied.  
"Good." Onyx said as a mischievous grin spread across her face.  
"What are you up to?"  
Instead of answering him Onyx kissed and nibbled the side of his neck. She straddled him and kissed him roughly on the mouth. Onyx teased his lips with her tongue and he obediently gave her access into his mouth. Onyx slid her hands under his shirt and ran them along his chest and back. She then yanked his shirt over his head and grabbed Jake's hands to stop them from exploring her body. Jake frowned at her making her smile. She stood up and slowly pulled her own shirt over her head. Onyx allowed Jake to slide her shorts off of her hips and on to the floor. Next Jake slowly slid her underwear down her legs sending chills throughout her body. In one movement Jake grabbed her and laid her down onto the bed. He climbed on top of her and yanked their make shift curtains closed. Jake hurriedly pushed his sweats off and Onyx pushed his boxers off gently scratching him with her fingernails as she went.  
Jake spread her legs with his knee and placed himself at her entrance. Onyx nearly screamed as he entered her. Jake laughed and covered her mouth. "You have to be quiet baby." He whispered. Onyx nodded and bit down on her lip as he thrusted inside of her. Her head was spinning. _'Its been way to long'_ she thought to herself. Onyx arched her back and dug her nails into anything she could grab as he increased his speed. Onyx flipped him over so that she was on top of him. Onyx closed her eyes and placed a hand on the wall to balance herself as she lowered herself onto him. The look of ecstasy on Jake's face as she rode him was enough to send her over the edge. She dug her nails into his chest and kept her mouth closed tightly to keep from screaming as waves of pleasure washed over her. A few moments later Jake reached his peak and Onyx collapsed on top of him. She could feel both of their hearts beating rapidly and smiled. Jake rolled her off of him and held her tightly. Onyx bit her lip as she reveled in the afterglow. Jake leaned over her and kissed her passionately. A few minutes later they both drifted off

Both of them were completely unaware someone had coincidentally walked past their state room in the midst of their love making. Despite how quiet they were trying to be they could still be heard just outside the door. Edgar Hansen was leaning against the wall; rage written on every inch of his face.

**P L E A S E R E V I E W :)  
feedback = love**


	6. Chapter 6

A few hours later Jake was back on deck working and was in an extremely good mood. He had missed the feel of being with Onyx immensely. When they made love none of their problems seemed to matter. He was able to forget everything that was bothering him. It had always been that way. It gave him a better high than drugs ever had. Not even Edgar could wipe the smile off of his face. In fact Edgar was in a particularly foul mood and it did nothing but raise Jake's spirits even more. Jake looked up from the crab he was sorting and found Edgar looking directly at him with a sour look on his face. "What?" Jake asked. Edgar didn't reply to him he didn't seem to have heard what he said. His gaze remained locked on Jake. "What?" Jake repeated now slightly annoyed. Slowly Edgar's face curved into a forced smile. "Nothing" he said slowly,"I was zoning out." Jake stopped himself from rolling his eyes. Everything about Edgar was shady. "Oh okay." Jake replied.

Onyx climbed out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweat pants. They hung low on her hips and Onyx angrily yanked them off and tossed them back in her duffle bag. Onyx was continuing to lose weight and it was infuriating her. She used to wear a zero but now her double zero pants were starting to fit a little lose. She knew it was because of stress. Between mourning the loss of two of the most important people in her life and worrying about upsetting Jake she was drained. Onyx did feel a bit better since finally making love to Jake again. She understood why it always made Jake feel better after a fight. When looking into his eyes she could almost see the way he felt about her. None of his words had comforted her as much as that look. She pulled on a pair of leggings seeing as they were pretty much the only things that fit her and headed upstairs into the wheel house. "hva som foregår sig?" She asked she sat down in the co captains chair. "Jeg vil bare få disse potter opp av vannet." Sig replied.  
"Umm I don't know that much norwegian yet." Onyx said with a smile.  
Sig laughed,"I said I just want to get these pots out of the water."  
"Oh."  
Sig turned to face her,"Didn't I tell you not to make a habit of sitting in my wheel house vakker?"  
"Yeah." Onyx replied reluctantly,"I'm sorry I'll leave."  
Sig ran his fingers through his thinning blond hair."You might as well stay since you're already up here."  
Onyx smiled widely,"Want to teach me some more Norwegian?"  
Sig raised his eyebrows,"why so interested?"  
"Its a beautiful language."  
He laughed,"What do you want to know?"  
"How do you say I love you?"  
"Jeg elsker deg."  
"Jeg elsker deg." Onyx repeated,"How do you say shut the hell up?"  
Sig laughed,"those are kind of on opposite ends of the spectrum."  
"I don't know which one I tell Jake more." Onyx replied with a smile.  
"lukket helvete opp." Sig said as he lit a cigarette.  
"lukket helvete opp."  
"What the hell are you guys doing?" Edgar asked as he entered the wheel house.  
"I'm teaching Onyx norwegian." Sig took a drag off of his cigarette and continued,"What do you want?"  
"I'm putting junior on the hydros. He insisted I ask your permission. Apparently my authority isn't enough" Edgar replied. His annoyance was evident in his voice. Sig nodded and continued to smoke his cigarette. "Since when do you let people sit on the wheel house?" Edgar asked as he turned his attention to Onyx. Sig shrugged,"I like Onyx. Can you go back outside and do your god damn job please." Onyx smiled. She was surprised at how much Sig saying he liked her meant to her. Edgar rolled his eyes and went back outside. "Edgar er en jævla tosk." Sig said once the door closed. "What does that mean?" Onyx asked.  
"Edgar is a god damn fool."  
Onyx laughed and brought her knees up to her chest.  
"What's his story?" She asked.  
Sig ashed his cigarette and unwrapped a choclate bar. Onyx shook her head no as he offered her a piece. "What do you mean?" He replied.  
"Why is he like...the way he is?" Onyx felt slightly embarrassed. She had worded that really stupid.  
"Why is he such a jackass or why is he so infatuated with you?"  
Onyx shifted uncomfortably. She wasn't expecting Sig to respond with anything even close to that. "Both I guess." She replied after a few moments of silence. "Well his wife, Ex wife really but they aren't actually divorced is a real bitch. I don't think he ever really wanted to marry her but he did against his better judgement. She put him through hell but he was always there for her. Honestly if she called right now and said she needed him he'd probably head straight home. Now that they're over he's trying to relive his youth simple as that. I can't really blame him." Sig snapped off a piece of chocolate and shoved it into his mouth before continuing,"As for his infatuation with you I don't really understand it. Your an extremely beautiful and intelligent young woman. But like I said you're young. Extremely young. I've told him a million times his niece is almost your age but he says its different. Hell who really knows what it is that attracts us to other people."  
"He's talked to you about me before?" Onyx asked in disbelief.  
"Well he came back to boat one night with a bloody and swollen Jaw." Sig laughed,"From what I can tell your husband has a pretty good right hook. Edgar did deserve it though. I would have killed him If I were Jake."  
Onyx's insides were burning with embarrassment and shame. The last person she wanted to know about her almost sleeping with Edgar was his big brother. "I kept telling him to get over you and that you weren't going to leave the kid." Sig paused and cleared his throat," Especially after everything that happened this past year, but he just didn't get it. I think he finally got the hint though"  
"Really?"  
"Yep. He told me he was going to let it go just the other day."  
Onyx smiled," I'm glad. I don't want to hate him and I don't want Jake to hate him either."  
"I don't think you can change the kid's mind. Some things are unforgivable."  
"Yeah I know. No girl on the planet can hold a grudge quite like Jake can."  
Sig laughed and looked down at the monitor showing what the guys were doing on deck. He shook his head,"Junior has no idea what the hell he's doing." Onyx looked over Sig's shoulder at the monitor. The picking hook was swinging around the deck wildly. As Onyx saw it collide with the side of Edgar's head she heard him scream,"God damnit Junior!" From outside.

Sig and Onyx hurried out onto the upper deck. "Are you ok Edgar? Sig called.  
"Do I look ok?" Edgar yelled back as he tried to stem the flow of blood down the side of his head.  
"Get inside!" Sig yelled before turning his attention to Jake A. "and you get the hell off of the hydros! Norman you take over!" Jake A. Slumped away from the hydrolics over to the sorting table. Jake clapped him on the back and shrugged his shoulders. Onyx narrowed her eyes at her husband. He was doing a very poor job of looking concerned and Onyx was slightly disgusted. Edgar could have been seriously hurt and Jake was standing there leaning against the sorting table without a care in the world. "get the first aid kit." Sig instructed before heading inside. Onyx grabbed it and followed him downstairs into the galley.  
Edgar was sitting at the table holding a mass of paper towels against his head. They had already soaked through and the thought of the wound underneath made Onyx slightly squeamish. Sig shook his head and sat down across from Edgar. "Take care of this Onyx." Sig said as he pulled a cup of coffee towards him,"I'm not good with blood."  
Onyx pulled Edgar's hands away and took the paper towels away from him. She quickly dropped them into the trash and poured some alcohol onto a towel. The color was quickly draining from his face. Edgar hissed as she placed the towel against his head. Onyx smiled,"man up Edgar."  
Sig chuckled and Edgar shot her a dirty look. "This hurts like hell!" He replied sourly. After cleaning him up Onyx leaned forward and examined his wound. "You need stitches." She said calmly.  
"Well I'm not letting you do it!" Edgar said nodding at his brother,"last time you stabbed me about 50 times with the needle."  
"Can you do it?" Sig asked Onyx.  
She shrugged,"I can sew."  
"Good enough." Sig declared before exiting the galley and heading back upstairs. Onyx rummaged through the first aid kit for dental floss and a needle. Onyx smiled as she found what she was looking for. "Are you ready?" She asked.  
"No." Edgar replied,"I know your going to get some sick pleasure out of this."  
Onyx snorted. "Oh yeah you caught me." She said sarcastically. Onyx stepped forward and placed her hand under Edgar's chin lifting his head up. She felt him stiffen the moment she touched him. His leg was between her legs so she could get as close as possible and Onyx prayed Jake didn't come inside. Onyx grimaced as she began sowing the wound closed. "That's a reassuring sight." Edgar said darkly. Onyx rolled her eyes. "Shut up or ill let you bleed to death." She said with a smirk. Edgar mumbled under his breath as she continued to sew him up. A few minutes later Onyx finished and closely examined her work. "Eh it looks ok." She said. She placed a a few butterly bandages over it and backed away from him. Luckily she did because at that moment her husband entered the galley. "Hey baby." She said as she placed a kiss on his cheek. Jake placed a hand on the small of her back and pulled her close to him. He kissed her roughly and instinctively Onyx kissed him back. She looked up at Jake as she pulled away, but his focus had turned to Edgar. The look of hatred on his face was matched only by the look on Edgar's. Onyx rolled her eyes. "I think you can go back to work now." Onyx said attempting to cut the tention. Edgar nodded and stood up. As soon as he was upright he swayed on his feet. Jake reached forward and helped him sit back down. It was a simple act but Onyx was incredibly proud of him for it. Onyx flashed him a smile and Jake rolled his eyes. "I'm heading back outside." He said as he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Onyx looked down at Edgar,"you can't work like this."  
"Ill be fine." Edgar attempted to stand back up but only made it halfway before sitting back down. Onyx rolled her eyes for what felt like hundreth time that day and started to go upstairs." Where are you going?" He asked. "To tell Sig." She called back.

Onyx entered the wheel house and stood beside Sig. "How is he?" He asked. "He can't even stand." She replied.  
"Wonderful." Sig said sarcastically,"keep him company ok? Its hard being stuck inside when you want to be outside working."  
"I know the feeling." Onyx remembered how desperatly she wanted to be out on deck on the Cornelia Marie but was stuck inside. She was able to work outside for two trips and she loved it. She missed it immensily. "But I don't know about keeping him company,"Onyx continued,"Jake won't like it."  
Sig looked her up and down; his eyebrows furrowed angrily.  
"Is Jake the god damn captain of this boat or am I?" Onyx felt like a little kid who got caught doing something bad.  
"You." She said quietly.  
"Then go downstairs and sit with him."  
Onyx forced herself to hold ger tongue. "Ok." She replied and walked quickly out of the wheel house.

Jake was outside sorting crab. Was it horrible that Jake didn't feel any sympathy for Edgar? _'No._' He decided. Edgar got to sit inside with his wife while everyone else was outside working their asses off. Jake found that his hatred for Edgar grew every single day. Even being near him made his stomach turn. _'Prick.'_ Jake thought to himself as he slid some crab down the shoot. 'If _only that hook would have hit him a little harder.' _Jake wondered if Edgar was inside trying to talk to Onyx. He explicitly told her not to talk to him and if he found out she was he would lose his mind.

Onyx sprawled out at the galley table across from Edgar.  
"What are you doing?" He asked. "Keeping you company." She said bitterly.  
"Why?"  
"Captains orders."  
Edgar nodded. "So how are you?"  
"I'm sorry Edgar but I don't want to talk to you."  
" Because of Jake?"  
"Yep."  
"He's outside how's he going to know? I won't say anything and besides aren't you talking to me right now?"  
Onyx rolled her eyes,"I'm fine. How are you?"  
Edgar gave her an incredilous look and gestured to his head making Onyx laugh. Onyx continued talking to Edgar for the next few hours. She felt guilty the entire time, but they weren't talking about anything inapropriate. Onyx had been too busy despising him in the past to notice how funny he was. Their sense of humor was eerily similar. Onyx heard voices and the smile fell off of her face. "The guys must be done working."  
"Yep." Edgar replied,"it was uh... really nice talking to you."  
Onyx smiled and walked to her state room. She knew Jake would be mad at her for even sitting with him. She sat cross legged on the bed and waited for him to enter the room. Her mind drifted to Edgar as she waited. _'He's not so bad after all.'_ She thought to herself.

**hva som foregår means whats going on :)**  
**im pretty sure all the other Norwegian is explained.**

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**that little review button really wants you to push it bahaha.**


	7. Chapter 7

Onyx sat on her bed sewing up holes in some of Jake's sweatshirts. She glanced up at the man sitting on the bed across from her who smiled widely at her. "What the hell are you smiling at?" She asked.  
"Nothing." Edgar replied.  
She rolled her eyes,"you're such a creep."  
Onyx stabbed herself with the needle she was holding. "Shit." She mumbled as a small bead of blood bloomed on her finger. Onyx sucked on the wound and uttered a few more swear words. Edgar walked across the room and pulled her hand towards him. "Are you ok?" He asked. His eyes were boring into hers. "I...um." Onyx stuttered.  
"I'm fine. I just pricked my finger. "She finally managed as she pulled her hand out of his grasp,"you shouldn't be in here. If Jake comes in he is going to flip out."  
Edgar strode back across the room and sat down on Jake Anderson's bed. "This is my boat. I can go wherever I want." He said coldly.  
"I don't want him to be mad at me." She replied.  
"Fine tell me you don't want to talk to me and I'll leave."  
Onyx did want to talk to him and the fact made her extremely angry with herself. Edgar Hansen was the last person she should be growing fond of, but the fact was she liked him more and more each time she spoke with him. He had sustained a head injury three days before and was not yet able to go back to work. She found he was a nice guy who just had a few... Issues. It was clear he still wanted her but so far he had kept his promise of backing off. Onyx's only responsibilities were to cook and clean. Talking to Edgar was a nice break from the monotony.  
"I do want to talk to you." She said quietly," I just..."  
Edgar cut her off,"you just don't want to make Jake mad I know."  
"You have to understand he means everything to me and he hates you. You have to admit he has a good reason for it. I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with him again." She paused for a moment choosing her words carefully, "and I don't know who I am without him Edgar. I'm in so much pain all the time. I just want my baby and it kills me knowing I lost him. Sometimes... I don't even want to be alive anymore and every time I feel that way Jake says something to make me feel ok. Every single time. Its like he knows exactly what's going through my head. I know its stupid that he doesn't trust me and he can be so insecure but I don't care. His flaws are incredibly minuscule compared to everything else about him. I'm willing to walk on eggshells around him if it keeps us together."  
Edgar nodded. He looked extremely uncomfortable. "Look Onyx I'd be lying if I said that when you first got here I didn't have intentions of trying to hook up with you." He said quickly, "I don't think you know how beautiful you are. You're flawless kid, and I don't just mean that physically. But I've accepted that you only want Jake. I just want to be friends. What's so wrong with that?"  
Onyx thought for a moment before responding, "Nothings wrong with that."  
Edgar smiled and stood up. He stretched and headed to the door. "I'm going to go check on the captain." He said as he exited the room. Onyx pushed Jake's clothes to the side and laid down. She rubbed her eyes with her palms and closed her eyes. Onyx felt no attraction to Edgar at all but she couldn't shake the guilt that constantly nagged at her for talking to him.

A few hours later Onyx was setting plates on the galley table waiting for the guys to come inside. Onyx looked up and smiled as the guys trudged into the galley. "How are you?" She asked as Jake slid into the booth. "Tired." He replied simply. Onyx sat down next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Jake glanced down at the empty space in front of her. "Why aren't you eating?" He asked.  
"I'm not hungry." She replied.  
"You need to eat. Its not healthy for you to go so long without eating."  
"Jake I don't want to talk about this right now." She said irritably.  
Jake slid a plate in front of her,"then eat."  
"Fine." Onyx grabbed a fork and slowly began to eat. Jake was really starting to worry about how much food she was eating, or lack there of. He couldn't remember the last time he saw her eat a full meal. She wasn't doing it on purpose but it still pissed him off. He just wanted her to be healthy. Jake shoveled his food into his mouth then pushed his plate away from him. He looked down at Onyx's and saw that she was only about a quarter of the way through. A few minutes later Onyx pushed her plate away from her and Jake frowned. "Your not done." He said.  
"Jacob shut up." Onyx said as she stood up,"do you want to take a shower?" Jake nodded and followed her to the bathroom.

Onyx quickly undressed but quickly covered herself when she saw the look on Jake's face. "Jake stop scrutinizing me!" She said sourly.  
"I'm just worried about you."  
"I'm fine."  
"No you aren't."  
"Do you really think I look that bad?" She asked sadly.  
"You don't look bad at all." Jake smiled,"You always look hot. But you're like disappearing."  
"Whatever." Onyx said as she pulled Jake's shirt over his head. Jake grabbed her hands and pulled her close to him.  
"You need to take better care of yourself. I can only do so much Onyx at some point you have try to move on."  
Onyx rested her head on his chest and Jake held her tightly. "I'm sorry Jake." She whispered.  
"For what?" He asked as he kissed the top of her head.  
"Everything."  
"You haven't done anything wrong babe."  
Onyx smiled and pulled him under the hot water. "I love you." She whispered.  
"I love you too." He replied as he lent down and kissed her. Jake backed her against the shower wall and kissed her neck. Onyx momentarily stiffened as her back made contact with the cold porcelain. Jake smiled into the kiss as Onyx whimpered from the cold. Onyx broke the kiss. "Make love to me." She said quietly.  
Jake rose his eyebrows, "Now?"  
Onyx nodded causing Jake's playful grin to spread across his face. He lifted her up and wrapped her legs around his waist. Jake pressed her firmly against the shower wall and bit down gently on her lower lip. He moved downwards kissing and sucking on Onyx's collarbone. Onyx tugged on Jake's hair as his hand traveled down her stomach to the most sensitive part of her body. "Hurry up Jacob." She moaned impatiently. Jake smirked and slowly slid himself inside of her. He was enjoying her impatience immensely.  
"Jake." She moaned quietly once he was completely buried within her. Jake held onto her thighs and slowly began to thrust. "Shhhhh." Jake said laughing as Onyx began to moan loudly. "I can't help it." She replied breathing heavily as she dug her nails into his shoulders. Jake released one of her thighs and used his hand to cover her mouth. Onyx narrowed her eyes slightly but didn't object. Fifteen passion filled minutes later Jake collapsed against Onyx. She smiled and pushed him away from her. Jake smiled lazily back at her and began to wash. He watched greedily as beads of water slid down her body. It didn't matter that he had just finished making love to her. He already wanted her again. Jake always wanted Onyx. Always. He never seemed to be able to get enough of her. Not just physically.  
He felt like they had been together forever but he still wasn't bored. Jake loved everything about her. Everything. The way she would throw her head back when she laughed, how she claimed romantic comedies were lame but would still cry every time they watched one, the way she would stutter when she was nervous, the way she cocked her head to the side when she was pissed at him. He could have gone on forever. Everyday he questioned what he did to get lucky enough to be with her. Jake kissed Onyx on the forehead and held her close. "What's wrong?" She asked suspiciously. "I just love you." Onyx smiled and wrapped her arms around his waist.

A few minutes later Onyx quickly dressed and followed Jake out of the bathroom. She smiled at Edgar who was still sitting at the galley table as she passed and almost stopped in her tracks when he looked back at her. She could see on his face he was enraged but she didn't understand why_. 'Maybe he got in a fight with someone while we were in the bathroom.'_ She told herself. Onyx tore her gaze from him and quickly entered the stateroom. She climbed under the warm blankets and Jake snuggled up next to her. "Night babe." Jake said as he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn. "Night." Onyx replied.  
Her mind drifted to Edgar and the look he had given her. It had frightened her. She had never seen him look like that before. Onyx was beginning to consider him a friend and was paranoid that he was angry with her. _'I didn't do anything wrong though.'_ She thought to herself. "Whatever." Onyx mumbled as she closed her eyes.

When Onyx woke up the next morning she could hear the guys working on deck. She made her way to the galley and smiled when she saw Edgar sitting at the table. "Good morning." She said brightly as she sat down across from him. Edgar grunted in response.  
"Um are you ok?" She asked.  
"I'm Fine."  
Onyx rolled her eyes. He said he was fine the same way Jake did when he was lying. "Edgar what's wrong?"  
"I said I was fine Onyx. I just don't want to talk right now."  
"In general...or to me?"  
"Onyx." He said exasperatedly  
"What?" She replied quickly.  
"Fuck off."  
"Edgar what did I do to make you so upset?"  
Edgar shot her a dirty look and then looked back down at the cup off coffee he was holding. Onyx fought back tears and stood up.  
"Heissan Vakker." Sig said warmly as he entered the galley. Onyx shook her head and walked past him back to her room. Once the door was closed she leaned up against it. "What's wrong with Onyx?" She heard Sig ask.  
"I don't want to talk about her." Edgar replied.  
"Why?"  
"She's a stupid bitch."  
"Pass munnen din Edgar! dont behandler henne som dritt fordi din sjalu!. "Sig shot back angrily, but Onyx didn't understand what he said . Whatever it was pissed Edgar off because a few seconds later she heard him storm out of the galley. Tears began to fall down Onyx's face and she was disgusted with herself. She couldn't believe she was crying over Edgar Hansen, but the truth was she had begun to really care about him over the last few days. "Get it together. He doesn't matter!" She told herself angrily. Onyx wiped away her tears and climbed into her bunk. She only wished that what she had said were true.

That night Jake climbed into bed with Onyx and kissed her on the cheek. He narrowed his eyes as he examined her.  
"What's wrong?  
"Nothing babe." Onyx lied. What was she supposed to say?  
_'Edgar doesn't want to be my friend any more and it hurt my feelings.'_ That would have gone over great with Jake.  
"Your lying." Jake replied instantly.  
"Am not."  
Jake brushed her bangs out of her eyes and smiled. "Yes you are. Its ok baby just talk to me when your ready. I'm not going to force you to tell me if you don't want to right now." Onyx threw her arms around his neck an held him tightly.

He always knew just what to say.

_You think I'd leave your side baby?  
You know me better than that  
You think I'd leave down when your down on your knees?  
I wouldn't do that_

_I'll do you right when your wrong_  
_ohhh, ohhh_

_If only you could see into me_

_oh, when your cold_  
_I'll be there to hold you tight to me_  
_When your on the outside baby and you can't get in_  
_I will show you, your so much better than you know_  
_When your lost, when your alone and you can't get back again_  
_I will find you darling I'll bring you home_

_If you want to cry_  
_I am here to dry your eyes_  
_and in no time you'll be fine_

_You think I'd leave your side baby_  
_You know me better than that_  
_You think I'd leave you down when your down on your knees_  
_I wouldn't do that_

_I'll do you right when your wrong_  
_ohhhh, ohhh_

_If only you could see into me_

_Oh when your cold_  
_I'll be there_  
_To hold you tight to me_  
_Oh when your alone_  
_I'l be there by your side baby_

_**By your side- sade**_

**Pass munnen din Edgar dont behandler henne som dritt fordi din sjalu**** translates roughly to Watch your mouth edgar dont treat her like shit because your Jealous.**

**Please review my loves (:**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N alright so here's the teaser for my Edgar story(it won't be posted until I post the final chapter of this story! That's why its a teaser bahahaha) but yeah its currently in pre production (: okie doke here it is:****Sig Hansen**** takes in his daughters best friend when she has no place to go. What happens when his little brother develops feelings for a girl 2x younger than him? Can Edgar keep it a secret or will it blow up in his face? Is it just too taboo? Will he give her up? Or will she be stolen away?**

**This chapter is for Mahone-chic-89 because shes amazing (: and lord of ze fan fiction :P**

On with the story (:

Onyx smiled as she scooped a generous amount of spaghetti onto each of the guys plates. Her smile immediately fell when she reached Edgar. He looked away from her and clenched his jaw as he stared in the opposite direction. She quickly finished and glared at him before she sat down next to Jake. "Eat." Jake said as soon as she sat down. "I had a big lunch." Onyx replied,"I don't have much of an appetite."  
Jake rolled his eyes,"Half of a bowl of ice cream isn't a big lunch."  
"You were on deck how do you know what I had for lunch?"  
"Jake told me."  
Onyx turned her attention to Jake A. and narrowed her eyes. "Jakey you said if I shared with you you'd keep your mouth shut!"  
Jake A. shifted guiltily,"it wasn't my fault! Jake kept asking me over and over and it just came out!"  
Onyx smiled, her husband was very good at getting the information he wanted out of people. "You have no business being inside eating ice cream with her when you should be on deck Junior!" Edgar said angrily.  
"We always leave deck for a few minutes to grab some food. You do it all the time Ed." Jake A. replied.  
"Do not argue with me Junior."  
Jake A. opened his mouth to respond but seemed to think better of it. He looked down at his plate and moodily picked at his food. Edgar wore a victorious grin on his face that made Onyx want to leap across the table and strangle him. Over the past few days Edgar had been acting more and more like the Edgar she despised instead of the one she had begun to care about. He still refused to acknowledge her and she was no closer to understanding why. "Anyways!" Jake said angrily,"how many times do we have to talk about this Onyx? You. Need. To. Eat!"  
"I have been eating!" Onyx replied,"it's not my fault I'm not alwaaaaays hungry and you act like I ate a lot before...before." Onyx began to stutter and was unable to finish her sentence. Her eyes filled with tears and she cursed herself for getting emotional in front of the guys. _'Why can't I go a day without crying?'_ She thought miserably. "Its ok Onyx." Jake said throwing an arm around her,"Why don't you go lay down? I'm not tired I can clean up the galley for you."  
She shook her head and wiped her eyes. "Don't worry I'm fine. Thank you though." Onyx smiled weakly at him and kissed him on the cheek.  
"Can you two do this somewhere else?" Edgar said nastily.  
"Ed." Nick said quietly. It was clear by his tone he was warning him to stop.  
"No let him finish." Jake said darkly.  
Edgar smiled, "Nobody wants to see you and your girl hanging all over each other. Its disgusting. If I see it again I'll fire your ass."  
"Onyx go to the room." Jake said.  
"Why?" She asked.  
"Onyx go."  
Onyx rolled her eyes and exited the galley. There was an explosion coming and she preferred to be as far away from it as possible.

Jake was fuming. He wanted to punch Edgar's teeth in. He couldn't wait until they were on land so he could kill him. Jake smirked and rolled up the sleeves on his sweatshirt. "Let's be honest Edgar." He said menacingly, "The real reason your upset isn't because my wife and I show affection for each other."  
"Oh yeah?" Edgar replied. "Then what exactly do you think the reason is?"  
Jake laughed. "Your upset because its not you. You wish that you were the one she wanted. You wish it was your lap her hand rested on under the table. It kills you its my name she moans instead of yours. That's just too damn bad Hansen because you disgust her. You can try as hard as you want but you'll never be me and its driving you crazy. Everyone at this fucking table can see it."  
The silence at the table was thick and the guys looked around uncomfortably at anything but each other. Except for Jake and Edgar. Their eyes were boring into each other and it was impossible to tell which one felt the most hatred for the other. After a few awkward minutes Edgar finally spoke. "You better watch your fucking back kid." He said darkly,"I could ruin your whole fucking life."  
"I'd like to see you try." Jake spat.  
"Be careful what you wish for." Edgar said with a smirk as he stood up and walked to his stateroom. Jake smiled as the door slammed shut. He felt victorious. Jake hadn't just struck a nerve he had mercilessly hammered into it. Jake continued to eat his spaghetti. He looked up to see Jake A. looking at him awestruck. "What?" Jake laughed.  
"I've never heard anyone talk to Edgar like that." Jake A. replied, "he's going to kill you."  
"I'm not worried about it." Jake shoveled more food into his mouth, "What it comes down to is he's just a jealous old creep."  
Matt shook his head."This is why women don't belong on boats." He mumbled.  
Jake finished his food and stood up. There was definitely a certain swagger in his step as he walked to his stateroom.  
"This isn't going to end well." Matt said quietly.  
"You gotta admit the kids got balls though." Norman replied.

Onyx looked up as Jake entered the room and smiled. "I hope things didn't get too out of hand out there."  
Jake shook his head,"not at all. It was just two friend having a nice little chat."  
Onyx snorted,"yeah I'm sure. He's not important enough to fight with Jacob."  
"I know." He cleared his throat," Anyways, when we get home your seeing a doctor."  
"For what?"  
"You need to eat woman!"  
Onyx rolled her eyes,"I'm fine. You worry too much."  
It was Jake's turn to roll his eyes,"You think I'm joking but I'm not. We're going to the doctor."  
"Whatever." Onyx replied as she reclined on the bed. Jake laid down next to her and pulled her on top of him. "Remember when you were trying to get me to go to rehab and you said_ 'I need you Jacob but I need you sober'_?"  
Onyx nodded and laid her head down on his chest.  
"Well its the same thing." Jake continued, "I need you Onyx, but I need you healthy." Jake was so worried about Onyx it was making him sick. For the first time he was starting to understand how Onyx felt while he was on drugs. "I'm sorry." She mumbled. "I'm going to change."  
Jake kissed the top her head and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.

When Onyx woke up the next morning she had to force herself out of bed. She felt horrible. Onyx felt dizzy and vaguely acknowledged she should probably eat something. She slowly walked into the galley and rolled her eyes when she saw Edgar sitting at the galley table. Edgar looked up and smiled as she approached. "Hey kid." He said with a smile.  
"Fuck you." She said sourly.  
"I'm sorry." He said standing up and walked over to her.  
"Shouldn't you be back on deck or something?"  
"The captain wants me inside for a few more days."  
"Whatever. I don't have anything to say to you. I just need to clean the... the galley." Onyx rubbed her forehead and balanced herself by gripping the counter.  
"Are you ok?" Edgar asked placing a hand on her shoulder.  
She shook his hand off of her. "Shut up Edgar." She said as she pulled out her cleaning supplies_. 'What the hell is wrong with him?'_ She wondered_, 'and I thought Jake acted bi polar.'_ She began scrubbing the galley and began to feel worse and worse as the minutes dragged by. "Are you sure your ok?" Edgar asked as he laid his magazine down on the table and raised an eyebrow. "I said shut up!"  
"Bitch." Edgar shot at her before standing up and storming to his room.

Onyx threw her rag down and followed him to his room. She'd had enough. Onyx entered the room before Edgar had a chance to slam the door shut. "What the fuck is your problem?" She asked angrily.  
"my problem? What the fuck is your problem? I was trying to be nice to you and you were being a bitch." He replied.  
"Well you treated me like shit for days! I was taking such a big risk by being friends with you! And you repaid me by being a dick! Now you want to be nice again? Its bullshit Edgar!"  
"Look I don't have an excuse for how I treated you. I'm sorry ok?"  
"You have worse mood swings than my husband! I didn't think that was possible."  
For a moment Edgar's face darkened but he forced a smile, "Forgive me? I don't want to lose you as a friend."  
Onyx rolled her eyes,"fine. But I swear to god if you pull anything like this again your dead to me got it?"  
"Deal."  
Edgar hugged her and she reluctantly hugged him back.  
a few moments later Onyx's body went limp and she fell to the floor. She heard Edgar yell her name but it sounded distant, and then there was nothing but darkness.

When Onyx woke up it took her a few minutes to realize she wasn't in her bed. _'Fuck'_ she thought as she realized it was Edgar's bed. She looked up and saw Jake sitting on the foot of the bed with a worried expression on his face. Relief spread across his perfectly sculpted features and he lent down and kissed her. "Are you ok?" He asked.  
Onyx nodded,"What happened?"  
"You passed out. I told you that you needed to start eating more." He said sternly.  
"I'm sorry." She said guiltily.  
"Lucky Edgar got you to his bed so quick." His voice was suddenly cold.  
"Yeah lucky." Her heart had begun to race. She knew that forced calm in his voice very well. It always meant trouble.  
"Why were you in his room Onyx?" His voice got louder with every word he spoke.  
"I wasn't."  
"Now your fucking lying to me?" His words sounded strewn together and he was breathing heavily,"Matt came in to get an extra sweatshirt and saw you passed out on the floor. You better tell me the fucking truth right now Onyx."  
Onyx took a moment to respond. She was attempting to steady her nerves but it was no good. "I followed him into his room to find out why he was being so mean to me." She said honestly.  
"You know why he was being a dick to you!" Jake yelled,"he wants to be with you!"  
"He just wants to be friends."  
"How fucking dumb can you be?"  
"Jake!"  
"Be quiet Onyx! I told you to stay the hell away from him and you went behind my back. Who knows what else you two have been doing."  
"How could you say that?" Tears had begun to pool in Onyx's eyes.  
"I'm fucking stupid for trusting you." Jake said darkly.  
"Jake listen to me!" She reached over and grabbed his arm but he immediately snatched it out of her grasp and stormed out of the room.

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they are oh so motivating (:**


	9. Chapter 9

"Get the hell out of my face."  
"Jake listen to me!" Onyx sobbed.  
"Fuck you. Why don't you go talk to Edgar? I'm sure he'd listen to you." Jake fired back.  
Tears streamed down Onyx's face as Jake glared at her. They had been arguing for almost two hours and they weren't any closer to making up. "I didn't do anything wrong Jake." Onyx was crying so hard she was barely understandable, "All I did was talk to him!"  
"You did do something wrong!" Jake replied,"The fucked up thing is you can't see it! I told you over and over again to stay away from him!"  
"He was the only person I had to talk to."  
"You could have read a fucking book!"  
"Why can't you trust me!"  
"You almost slept with him." He said through gritted teeth, "how many times do we have to go over this shit?"  
"You said you changed. You said you trusted me." Onyx cried.  
"And you said you wouldn't give me a reason not to trust you." Jake stormed out of the room without another word and Onyx fell to the floor_. 'I'm so stupid!'_ She thought bitterly. She knew from the beginning it was a mistake to talk to Edgar. Onyx had said a million times she wasn't willing to jeopardize her relationship with Jake for Edgar and in the end she had done just that. She quickly wiped her tears and climbed into her bunk as Jake Anderson entered the room. "You didn't do anything wrong." He said quietly.  
"Wh...what?" Onyx asked.  
" I heard you guys yelling from the galley." Color had begun to creep up Jake A's face. "I know you didn't do anything with Edgar. I know you love Jake."  
Onyx stood up and Jake A. Immediately hugged her.  
"I don't want to lose him." She said quietly. She was sure her tears were soaking Jake A's shirt but he didn't seem to mind. "You won't don't worry. I've known Jake for a long time and he's never cared about anything the way he cares about you. Just give him some space."

Jake sat down in the ready room and lit a cigarette. Furious was an understatement to describe the way he was feeling. _'Bitch.'_ he thought to himself as he took a deep drag off of his cigarette. He rubbed his forehead wearily and leaned back against the wall. He wasn't even that angry with Edgar. Jake had been expecting Edgar to be shady from the very beginning but Onyx had acted like he was crazy for being worried_. 'I'll show her.' _

Onyx sat in bed wide awake the next morning waiting for the guys to come in for down time. Jake had avoided her since their argument and she was hoping to make up. Soon Jake A. and Nick entered the room. Jake A. smiled weakly at her and Onyx's heart sank. "Where's Jake?" She asked.  
"He said he was sleeping in the galley." Onyx threw the blanket off of her and stood up. "I wouldn't go out there." Jake A. continued.  
"Why not?"  
"I told you he needs space."  
"Jake he's my husband." She said coldy,"I have to make up with him." Jake A. frowned and Onyx felt guilty for being short with him. "I'm sorry Jakey but it kills me to be without him." He nodded and smiled at her as she exited the room. Jake sat up and looked curiously over the booth as she entered the room. His eyebrows furrowed angrily when he saw it was her. "Your still not talking to me?" She asked. Jake ignored her and shifted into a more comfortable position. "Jake please let's just make up." She said quickly,"we get so mad at each other over such little things but we always make up. We're perfect for each other Jacob and you know it. I can't take you being mad at me."  
"Are you finished?"  
"Yes." She replied nervously.  
"Well I'm really tired and I want to go to bed so can you leave please?"  
"Jacob."  
"Leave." Jake repeated.  
"I love you."  
Onyx bit her lip and then quickly ran to her room.  
She pulled the blanket over her head and sobbed into the pillow. Onyx felt like she was falling apart. Every time she thought things were starting to get better it blew up in her face. As soon as she thought she was starting to accept the loss of her father in law her baby died. As soon as she and Jake started to get better Edgar Hansen got thrown into the mix. She didn't even have feelings for him. Everything she felt towards him was 100% platonic. After about twenty minutes Onyx felt a hand on the small of her back. She stiffened and forced herself to stop crying. _'Please don't be Edgar.'_ She thought desperately.  
"Baby."  
Onyx felt as if her heart had stopped. She was more surprised to hear that voice than she would have been if it would've been Edgar's.  
She threw the blanket off of her head and turned to face her husband. "I'm sorry." He whispered.  
"No I'm sorry." She whispered back. Onyx was already starting to cry again. Jake climbed into bed with her and wrapped his arms around her. "I over reacted."  
"No Jake I shouldn't have been talking to Edgar."  
"Let's just forget this ok?"  
Onyx nodded and closed her eyes.  
Jake kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes as well.

The next morning when Onyx opened her eyes she was disappointed Jake wasn't in bed with her. Just like always.  
She pulled on a pair of leggings and a sweatshirt; then walked into the galley. Onyx was surprised to see someone sitting at the galley table. She walked around and gazed at his face_. 'Shit.'_ She thought.  
"Hey beautiful." Edgar said brightly.  
"Shouldn't you be on deck?" Onyx asked.  
"I told the captain my head hurt too bad for me to work."  
"Why?"  
"I wanted to talk to you."  
"No." Onyx said sharply,"You and I are done talking." She walked over to the kitchen area and pulled out her pots and pans. "I didn't do anything wrong!" Edgar said angrily.  
"I don't care! Jake means more to me than you do."  
Edgar stared at her for a few more moments and then exited the galley. Onyx felt incredibly guilty as she cooked. Edgar was right he didn't do anything wrong. She was the one who followed him into his room, but she knew now a friendship with Edgar wasn't worth the risk.

That night Onyx lay in bed with Jake and massaged his shoulders. "We're done fishing." He yawned,  
"We're heading in for the first off load."  
Onyx smiled,"You'll finally get a full nights sleep."  
"Thank god."  
"Maybe the Time Bandit will be off loading and you'll get to see Josh."  
"I doubt it but I hope so. I miss my brother."  
Onyx laughed, "sometimes you can be incredibly cute."  
"Sometimes?" Jake asked, "More like all the time."  
Onyx snorted, "there's my cocky husband that I love so much."

Around noon the next day they finally reached St. Paul.  
The guys spent all day outside working and Onyx spent the day inside cleaning. It wasn't until 6:00PM that she heard someone come back inside. She looked up expectantly and then instantly began to feel anxious when she saw that it was Edgar. He looked rather anxious and uncomfortable himself. "Onyx I have to tell you something." He said hurriedly.  
"What?" Onyx snapped, "I told you we are done talking."  
"Well I wanted to tell you this yesterday but I... I'm in love with you."  
"No your not."  
"I am." He said taking a step closer to her. Onyx immediately backed up. "I never thought I would fall in love again." He continued,"but you changed everything."  
"I'm sorry I don't feel that way about you. And you already knew that. I told you Jake is the only one for me."  
"I don't believe you. I know you have feelings for me. I can see it in your eyes when we talk."  
"Your imagining it."  
Edgar grabbed her shoulders and pulled her closer to him.  
"Edgar let go of me!" She said angrily as she struggled to pull away from him but his grip was too strong. Much stronger than Jake's. Edgar's lips crashed down on hers and her eyes widened in shock. She tried as hard as she could but she couldn't get away. Her heart was pounding and she knew any moment someone could walk in. Then she heard him. The one person she had hoped wouldn't come inside.  
"What the fuck is going on?" Jake screamed so loudly all the voices coming from outside suddenly ceased. Edgar released Onyx and she slapped him across the face. "How could you!" She yelled angrily. Onyx turned to Jake."I promise I didn't kiss him back! I tried to get away from him but I couldn't! I didn't want that to happen." As she spoke Jake's expression became harder and harder.  
"No you just didn't want to get caught."  
"Jake I swear I don't have any feelings for him!"  
Onyx threw her arms around Jake's neck and felt dread when he didn't hug her back. He slowly pried her arms off of him. "I'm leaving. Don't follow me." As soon as he said it she knew she wouldn't dare follow him. It wasn't just a statement it was a threat and a warning. Onyx watched numbly as Jake quickly changed and left the boat. Onyx rounded on Edgar. "You're dead to me. I didn't know it was possible to hate someone as much as I hate you."  
"You don't mean that."  
"Yes I do! I trusted you! Jake was right wasn't he? You never wanted to be my friend! You were just trying to make me fall for you."  
"Well what else was I supposed to do! I love you Onyx."  
"Stay the hell away from me." She spat before heading to her room and slamming the door.

Jake surveyed the bar as he entered. He was outraged. How could Onyx betray him like that? Clearly Edgar meant more to her than he did. She always went back to him in the end. Jake had only one thing on his mind. Revenge. Jake smiled as he saw a tall busty brunette being hit on by an old drunk guy. He strode across the room exuding confidence in a way that only Jake Harris could. He stepped in between them and smiled. "What are you drinking?" He asked.  
"Whatever you want to buy me." The brunette replied.  
"Gin and coke?"  
She nodded and flipped her hair over her shoulder.  
Jake ordered her drink looked her up and down. She was no Onyx, _'fuck Onyx'_ but she was passable. "What's your name?" He asked.  
"Stephie." She replied as she took a sip of her drink.  
"Cute." Jake said unenthusiastically.  
"So how long are you here for?"  
"Just tonight."  
Stephie nodded,"So do you just want to skip all this and head back to my hotel?"  
Jake smiled,"absolutely."

Onyx sat cross legged in bed with her head in her hands.  
Jake would never forgive her for this. She knew it deep down in her soul. It wasn't even her fault. It was Edgar's.  
Everything Jake had said about him was true and she felt like a fool. Jake didn't return to the boat for three hours and every minute felt like an eternity. Onyx instantly stood up as he entered the room. She threw her arms around his neck. "Oh Jake. I was so worried about you! I promise nothing happened with Edgar. I'll do anything to prove it to you. Let's just leave I don't want to be here anymore. You can get a different job until you and Josh buy the Cornelia."  
"Onyx." Jake said slowly but she ignored him. She had laid her head against his chest and caught a very strong wiff of perfume. She pulled away from him and backed up.  
"Jake?" She asked, her voice shaking as she spoke,"Why the hell do you smell like perfume?"  
Jake shrugged and sat down on the bed. He was acting completely nonchalant and Onyx wanted to punch him.  
"Jake?" She repeated. He ignored her and chose to play with a hole in their comforter.  
"Jacob!" She yelled,"Answer me!"  
Jake stood up and advanced on her. "You've been cheating on me with Edgar."  
"I haven't!" Onyx yelled but Jake didn't awknowledge her response.  
"So I cheated on you."  
"No you didn't." Onyx said quietly, "you wouldn't do that."  
"Apparently I would because I did."  
"How could you?"  
"I don't know Onyx. How could you cheat on me?"  
"I didn't!" Onyx screamed at the top of her lungs,"after everything we've been through why would I ruin everything now?"  
"I don't know how your mind works."  
Onyx shook her head and began to pace. She was in shock. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought that Jake would cheat on her. It felt like she had been stabbed in the heart. He meant everything to her and he went out and slept with somebody else like it was nothing.  
"Whatever Onyx." Jake said as he lit a cigarette,"What the hell do you want from me?"  
Onyx thought about it and for a minute there was no clear answer. All she knew was that she had never felt so betrayed in her entire life. All life with Jake brought her was more and more pain.  
"I want a divorce." She said finally.  
"Yeah I was thinking the same thing." Jake said after a few moments of silence.

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**ill love you more than the Hillstrands love fireworks.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Please REVIEW!  
I'll love you more than ****Sig Hansen**** loves chocolate, cigarettes, and "robots." (:**

Onyx's whole body shook with tears. She didn't think anything could hurt worse than losing Phil and her baby. Apparently she was wrong. Through it all she had known Jake would be there for her to lean on. No matter what, but she was wrong. Onyx had just lost the only person in her life that made it worth living. Had she really lost him? Or had she thrown him away? True she had been the one to ask for a divorce, but it didn't take long for Jake to agree. Clearly he was saying she meant nothing to him the moment he thought it was ok to cheat on her. _'How could he?'_ She thought angrily. He had cheated to spite her for cheating on him with Edgar. The worst part was that she didn't in fact cheat on him with Edgar. Onyx never would have cheated on him with anybody let alone Edgar. Onyx forced herself to stop crying and walk up the wheel house stairs. "Hey Sig." She said quietly. She cursed the fact that her voice shook when she spoke. "Heissan Vakker." He replied.  
"We need to talk."  
Sig turned around to face her,"I was wondering when you were going to come up here."  
Onyx was embarrassed obviously Sig knew about her and Jake's problems. In all actuality the whole boat knew because of how loud they were yelling.  
"I'm sorry Sig. I know you took a risk letting me on your boat but I can't be here anymore. I don't want to be around Jake. I just want to go home and forget. As for Edgar I can't promise I won't kill him if I stay here. I don't want you to be disappointed in me, but I don't know what else to do."  
Sig studied her for a moment before responding. "I understand. You have to take care of yourself. It was a pleasure having you here. It was a nice break from the monotony. You're the only woman I would ever let on my boat and your welcome back anytime."  
Without thinking Onyx threw her arms around Sig's neck. For a few awkward moments Sig remained rigid but then he wrapped his arms around her.  
"You'll be ok kid. Don't take shit from anyone. Understand?"  
Onyx pulled away and smiled. "Thank you sig."  
He shrugged and waved his hand through the air clearly saying he was done being emotional.  
"Well I'll see you." Onyx said.  
Sig nodded and then smiled. "Jeg kommer til å jobbe Jake og Edgar's asses off på dekk i morgen. De vil ikke vite hva som traff dem."  
Onyx raised an eyebrow, "what does that mean?"  
"I'm going to work Jake and Edgar's asses off on deck tomorrow. They won't know what hit them."  
Onyx laughed and waved goodbye as she exited the wheel house.

The guys all stared at her as she walked down the stairs. All except Jake. He was pointedly staring at his hands. She walked quickly into the room and shut the door. Onyx quickly grabbed all her belongings and shoved them into her duffle bag. She picked up Jake's red hoodie and held it close to her. Immediately tears began to flow. That hoodie held so many memories. Whenever she was upset if was the first thing she grabbed and put on. She remembered when Jake went to rehab he had left it for her. Onyx shook her head ridding herself of her thoughts. She folded the hoodie and sat it back down on the bed. Onyx picked up her bag and exited the room. The talking immediately ceased. "Are you really leaving?" Jake Anderson asked. Onyx nodded. She made eye contact with her husband and his eyes bore into hers. _'Please stop me.'_ She thought desperately as if he could somehow hear her. He said nothing and Onyx's heart broke a little more. "Do you want me to drive you to the airport?" Jake A. asked.  
"Please." Onyx said quietly.  
"Let me grab a jacket."  
He stood up and walked past her into the room.  
Each guy stood up and hugged her goodbye. Except Jake and Edgar.  
"Ready?" Jake A. asked as he zipped up his jacket.  
Onyx nodded and followed him out of the room.

_'Do something!'_ Jake told himself angrily as he watched Onyx leave the room. He opened his mouth but no words came out_. 'She's the one who wanted a divorce.'_ He told himself. He couldn't believe he was literally watching Onyx walk out of his life. So many people had doubted their relationship from the beginning but he had been confident that it would never end. He never saw this coming. He looked across the table at Edgar. Jake found himself wondering if Onyx actually had cheated. _'I saw it with my own eyes.'_ He told himself. He tore his gaze away from Edgar who was staring down at his lap. Jake rolled his eyes, Edgar had been acting like a lost puppy since Jake caught him and Onyx together_. 'He's probably upset their little fling has to end.'_ Jake thought bitterly.

As soon as Onyx closed the truck door she broke down into tears. Jake A. reached over and wrapped his arm around her. "Please don't cry Onyx." He pleaded.  
"What am I supposed to do now?" She replied,"Jake was all I had. I haven't even experienced real life without him."  
"Are you really going to get a divorce?"  
"He cheated on me. And he did it because he doesn't trust me. What's left for us?"  
"You two love each other."  
"No I love him. More than anything. I would die for him right now. Clearly he doesn't feel the same way or he wouldn't have did what he did."  
"Onyx..."  
Onyx shook her head,"Can we just drive please?"  
Jake A. nodded and started the truck.

Onyx gave Jake A. a quick hug goodbye and stepped out of the truck when they arrived at the airport. "Thank you." She said awkwardly.  
"No problem." He replied," everything will be ok you know." Onyx shook her head." I don't think so this time." She said honestly.  
"You'll see."  
Onyx forced a smile and waved as Jake drove away. She turned slowly and walked inside the tiny airport. After buying her ticket she sat down in an old rickety chair to wait for her flight. Onyx's heart pounded as a skinny guy with a baseball cap entered the airport. Almost immediately she realized he wasn't Jake but that didn't stop tears from flowing down her face. She didn't care who saw. Losing him was the straw that broke the camels back. She had no idea what she was supposed to do. For over a year there had been no Onyx without Jake and now she had to face the world alone.

Slowly the guys all went to bed and Jake was the only one left sitting at the galley table. He had no idea how to possibly describe the way he was feeling. Jacob Harris was broken. Onyx had always put up with his shit and he had finally pushed her too far. The more he thought about it the more he doubted that Onyx had cheated on him. Even if she didn't she still did plenty wrong. She went behind his back and kept talking to Edgar. The one person she shouldn't have been talking too. That was still cheating even if it was just emotionally.  
Jake looked up as Jake Anderson entered the room. He hoped that Onyx would come in behind him and they would make up like they had done so many times. Jake's heart sank upon seeing that Onyx hadn't come back. Jake A. sat down across from him and rested his arms on the table.  
"I can't believe you let her leave." Jake A. said slowly. Jake shrugged, "She wanted to leave. I wasn't going to stop her."  
"She wanted you to stop her and you know it!" Jake A. said angrily. Jake was slightly taken aback it was rare that Jake A. got angry.  
"She thinks you don't love her! And I can't blame her!" Jake A. continued, "She always tries so hard to be good to you and you betrayed her! So what she talked to Edgar! That is nothing compared to what you did to her! Guys would kill to be with her, but no matter how bad you treat her all she wants is you! You're one of my best friends Jake but you need to man up and apologize before you lose her forever."  
Jake shook his head, "She's already gone."  
Jake A. stood up and left the galley. Jake watched him leave and then looked down at his hands. He looked at the inside of his wrist where Onyx's name was tattooed. Tears began to pour down his cheeks. He knew it was too late to get her back. They had been in many many fights but the word divorce had never come up until now. Jake knew It was real but wanted nothing more than for it to be a dream. _'This is really happening'_ Jake thought miserably.

Jake stood up and walked into his room. Nick and Jake A. were already sleeping. He clicked on the little light attached to his bunk and sat down. He immediately stood up when he realized he was sitting on more than bed sheets. Jake picked up his red hoodie and balled it in his fists. Nothing told him his relationship was over more than seeing Onyx had left it behind. Jake couldn't remember the last time he had actually worn it. It didn't even smell like him anymore it smelled 100% like Onyx. Jake shoved it roughly under his pillow and crawled into bed. It felt cold and empty without Onyx. "Fuck." He mumbled. This was officially the worst day of his entire life. Hours later he drifted into a restless sleep.

Much too soon Sig came into the room and woke everybody up to get ready to leave St. Paul. Jake crawled out of bed and pulled his boots on. Instinctively he turned around to kiss Onyx on the forehead like he did every day. Jake closed his eyes. _'She's gone.' _He told himself. Jake walked into galley and looked towards the kitchen. He had walked into the galley so many times and saw Onyx cooking feverishly with a look of determination on her face. Her tongue would poke out slightly between her lips when she was focused and it made a smile spread across his face every time. He tore his gaze away from the kitchen and walked up the Wheel house stairs.  
"Hey." Jake said awkwardly.  
"I knew you'd be up here soon." Sig said with a smile. Sig picked up an envelope and handed it to Jake. Jake looked at it bewildered. "What is this?" He asked.  
"Your pay. Your leaving right?"  
Jake nodded,"how did you know?"  
"I would have been shocked if you would have decided to stay."  
"I'm sorry."  
"Don't be kid. I'm used to running a four man deck."  
Jake shook his head and tried to hand the envelope back to Sig,"I only finished one trip. I don't deserve this."  
"Normally I would just pay you for the trip but my brothers and I decided you deserved full pay."  
"What?" Jake asked. He was completely confused.  
"Just take it before I change my mind."  
Jake nodded. "Thank you." He mumbled,"I'll help you get the boat ready to go then ill go."  
"Thanks kid."  
Jake nodded and turned to exit the wheel house.  
"One more thing." Sig said.  
"Yeah?" Jake replied.  
"Don't let that girl go."  
"Its too late Sig."  
"Its not. You'll never find another girl like her."  
"Ok." Jake replied. He didn't know what else he was supposed to say.

Onyx drove straight from the Seattle airport to her best friend Jason's house. If she could even still call Jason her best friend. She hadn't spent time with him in forever because of her relationship with Jake. Sure they talked on the phone and texted but it wasn't the same as hanging out. At this point she didn't know who else to turn to. Onyx sighed with relief when she spotted his car parked in his driveway. She stepped out her car and slowly walked up the stone path to his front door. Onyx hesitated for a moment and then knocked on his door. "Coming!" She heard him call. Onyx bit her lip nervously as she waited for him to open the door. Shock spread over his features as when he opened the door. "Onyx? What are you doing here? I thought you were fishing?"  
Onyx's lip trembled as she tried to form words.  
"Jake and I are getting a divorce. Please don't say I told you so."  
Jason pulled her into a hug and held her tightly. "Oh sweetie I don't know what to say."

Jake was standing in his stateroom shoving all his clothes into his duffle bag. The sleeve of his red hoodie poked out from underneath the pillow and his eyes were drawn to it. He seized it and pulled it on. Onyx's scent immediately engulfed him. He could smell raspberries and vanilla. His favorite combination. He felt his eyes start to well up and wiped them on his sleeve. He heard the door open and slowly turned around. "What the fuck do you want?"  
"To apologize." Edgar replied.  
"I'm not interested."  
"Well I'm sorry whether you care or not. Onyx never cheated on you. Believe me I wanted her too but she didn't. You shouldn't take my mistakes out on her."  
"You're fucking crazy if you think what you say matters to me."  
"You're fucking crazy if you give her up."  
"We're getting a goddamn divorce!" Jake yelled,"There's nothing I can do! I'm tired of everyone on this boat thinking they know what's best for me!"  
"It's because we all know Onyx is best for you."  
"If that were true you wouldn't have tried to hard to break us up. I hope you're happy you got your wish."  
"I knew she was best for you. I just wanted her to be the best for me. It was impossible for me not to fall in love with her, but you can't blame me for everything. You have to take responsibility for your actions I didn't make you cheat on her."  
Jake chose to ignore everything that Edgar said. He wasn't about to take life lessons from Edgar Hansen. "Why did you say it was ok for me to get paid for the whole season?" Jake asked.  
Edgar shrugged,"I have my reasons. Now you can go home and get Onyx."  
Jake turned his back on him and continued to pack. About a minute later he heard Edgar exit the room. Jake sat down and buried his head in his hands. Edgar was right. He had to go get Onyx.

Jake said goodbye to the guys and then headed to the airport. It was the longest flight of his life.  
All he wanted was to go make up with his wife. When Jake arrived in seattle he got a rental car and drove to Monroe, His heart raced the entire way home. _'What if she doesn't forgive me?'_ He thought desperately. Jake smiled as he pulled up to the driveway and saw their car was there. He ran up the driveway to the front door. "Onyx!" He called as he stepped inside. There was no answer so he hurried back to the bedroom. He stopped dead in his tracks. Their closet door was open and every single article of her clothing was gone. "No." Jake said quietly. Then it hit him. _'She must be at Jason's house.'_ He told himself. He got back in the car and sped to Jason's house. He banged on the door and Jason immediately opened it. "I need to speak to Onyx." Jake said breathing heavily.  
"She's not here." Jason replied.  
Jake's heart sank,"Where is she?"  
"She went home."  
"No I was just there."  
Jason sighed,"No I mean she went home to California."

_You said your hope was lost. My eyes were stinging hot._

_The first of the tears to fall hurts the worst of all._  
_I had it all planned out, what I was going to say._  
_But then that lump in my throat stole my words away._

_Darling, if nothing else, I know that this is true;_  
_I'd have nobody if I don't have you._  
_But you said your hope was lost, my eyes were stinging hot,_  
_the first of the tears to fall..._

_Have you given too much away?_  
_Are you giving us up?_  
_Did the going get tough this time?_  
_Don't give up on us._

_I said, "look at the map on the wall, put your fingers on where we are,_  
_no matter where I go we're just an inch apart."_  
_You interrupted and said, "not that old speech again! -_  
_If we're just an inch apart, then reach out and grab my hand."_

_Have you given too much away?_  
_Are you giving us up?_  
_Did the going get tough this time?_  
_Don't give up on us, don't give up..._

_I know that this is true, at least it used to be,_  
_you'd have nobody if you don't have me..._  
_And didn't we say forever?_  
_Didn't I promise you?_  
_Didn't we say forever?_  
_Darling don't... darling, don't._  
_We didn't come this far just to throw it all away._

_Have you given too much, Darling?_  
_Are you giving us up?_  
_Did the going get tough this time?_  
_Don't give up on us._

_**Hot/cold darling don't -strata.**_


	11. Chapter 11

**PLEASE REVIEW  
I'll love you more than Edgar Hansen loves lighting stuff on fire (:**

Jake reclined on the couch and downed his bottle of malt liquor. Music blasted through the room in an attempt to block out his thoughts. He still couldn't believe that Onyx had actually went back to California. Every last hope of getting her back was gone. Jake didn't even know what city she was from. She had been gone for three and half weeks and Jake was slipping further and further into a drunken depression. He didn't eat, he barely slept, and he was constantly in a rage. Broken glass and furniture lay strewn throughout the house. The only room left intact was what would have been his son's room. He spent most of his day locked inside sitting against the wall. If only his baby would have survived he and Onyx would still be together.

Onyx stood in her mother's kitchen with her arms folded across her chest. This was the last place in the world that she wanted to be. Her mother had completely ignored her since she found out she had gotten married and only acknowledged her again when Onyx left her a voice mail saying she and Jake were breaking up. Onyx loved her mother very much but had no respect for her. You don't turn your back on your child. "You can't tune me out forever." Onyx's mother Leeyah said as she scrubbed dishes in the sink. Onyx rolled her eyes, "That's exactly what you did to me for the last year."  
"I don't know what your talking about."  
"Really mom?" Onyx asked angrily,"I told you I was pregnant over voice mail and you didn't call me back even though you knew I was never supposed to get pregnant. I told you my baby died over voice mail and you still didn't call me back. What kind of mother does that?"  
"What kind of daughter throws away her whole future..." Leeyah turned to face Onyx and wrinkled her nose, "on a fisherman."  
"You don't know anything about him!" Onyx said angrily.  
"Well seeing as your getting a divorce it doesn't really matter what I know about him."  
Onyx stormed out of the room and up the stairs to her old bedroom. She threw herself on the bed and buried her face in her arms_. 'I need to get out of here.'_ She thought miserably. As angry as she was at Jake. She still wanted to strangle her mother every time she talked down on him. Onyx still loved him with her whole heart_. 'He didn't even try and stop you from leaving.'_ She reminded herself. Onyx was starting to believe that Jake never loved her as much as she thought he did. Tears fell quickly and heavily onto Onyx's bedspread. She rolled over and picked up her cell phone. Every part of her hoped to have a missed call or at least a text from Jake. There was nothing_. 'He already forgot about you.'_ She thought to herself as fresh tears slid down her cheeks.

Jake heard a loud thumping sound over the heavy metal blasting through the house. He grabbed the remote to the stereo and paused the music. "Jake open the god damn door!" He heard someone yell. _'Shit it's Josh.'_ Jake stood up and stumbled to the front door. Josh wrinkled his nose as the overwhelming stench of alcohol reached him. Jake stepped aside and Josh entered the house, closing the door behind him.  
Josh sighed,"I talked to Sig back at Dutch."  
"Oh really?" Jake slurred.  
"Yeah he told me everything that happened."  
"Lovely."  
"Do you really think getting piss as drunk is the best way to handle the situation?"  
Jake shrugged and sat down on the couch. Josh quickly sat down next to him. "You're probably high too."  
"Fuck you!" Jake said angrily, "I wouldn't do that."  
Josh cleared his throat,"Sorry. You know Onyx didn't cheat on you right?"  
"Yeah I know. But she left me. She's in California now. She'll never forgive me. Jacob Harris. Married at 23 divorced at 24. "  
Josh shook his head,"Your my brother and I love you but you really fucked up this time. I never would have thought you would cheat on her."  
Jake opened a beer and drank deeply. "You know what the fucked up thing is?" Jake said after a few minutes.  
"What?" Josh asked.  
"I didn't even cheat on her."  
"What?"  
"I met this girl at the bar and we went back to her hotel. I completely fucking froze when she kissed me. I booked it out of there and went back to the boat. I told Onyx I cheated on her to get back at her."  
"That was fucking stupid Jake!"  
"Yeah I know that now."  
"What are you going to do?" Josh asked slowly.  
"Nothing. Wait for the divorce papers I guess."  
"Do you think you can ever be happy without her?"  
"Fuck no."  
"Then Sober the hell up and go to California. I'll go with you."  
"I don't know where she lives."  
"Don't worry ill find her."

A few hours later Onyx woke up with no recollection of falling asleep. She slowly climbed out of bed and looked around her room. It was the first time she had really looked around since she had been home. Pictures of her and high school friends lined the walls, there were posters of celebrities she had been convinced she was going to marry one day, CD's and records were scattered all along her dresser and night stand, and clothes she hadn't found necessary to take to Washington with her littered the floor. She pulled open one of her dresser drawers and saw that it was still filled to the rim with notes she and her friends had passed in class instead of doing work. All of this seemed part of a different life even though it really wasn't that long ago. She was only nineteen but she didn't feel like a teenager at all. Onyx exited her room and walked down the stairs. Expensive paintings and pictures of her mother covered the walls. Onyx rolled her eyes, her mother was so self centered and pompous it was disgusting. She walked into the living room where her mother was reading a magazine. Onyx pointedly looked away from her and went outside. She sat down on the front porch and watched two little boys play across the street. Onyx smiled as their laughter reached her ears. Immediately she began to think of her baby Phil. Would he have liked to play outside? Or would he have been the type of kid who preferred to stay inside and do arts and crafts? It wouldn't have mattered to Onyx either way. She just wanted him back_. 'Please don't cry.'_ She pleaded with herself. Onyx was tired of crying. No tears came however, it seemed she was all cried out. A glint caught Onyx's eye and she looked around for the source. She looked down at her hand, it was her wedding ring. Onyx hesitated and then slid it off of her finger. She held it in the palm of her hand for a few minutes and then slid it back on. Taking it off wasn't a step she was ready to take yet.

Onyx felt a buzzing against her thigh and pulled her phone out of her pocket_. 'Josh?'_ Onyx looked down at her Blackberry unsure of whether or not she should answer it. Onyx took a deep breath,"Hello?"  
"Hey sis." Josh replied.  
"Um what's up?" Onyx closed her eyes,_'god I'm so awkward.'  
_"I just wanted to check up on you."  
"I'm as well as can be expected."  
"I'm sorry. Well what's it like being back in LA?"  
"I'm not from LA I'm from San Diego."  
"Ooooh right right. Are you with your mom?"  
"Unfortanately."  
"Oh so Carah is still being a bitch?"  
"Who the hell is Carah?" Onyx asked completely confused.  
"Your mom." Josh replied.  
Onyx raised her eyebrows,"Where the hell are you getting your information from? My mom's name is Leeyah."  
"Ooooh right right. Well Ashley is on the other line I gotta go."  
"Oh ok bye." Onyx said but Josh had already hung up. She was left feeling disappointed. Onyx was hoping he would tell her how Jake was doing.

Josh sat his phone down and opened his lap top.  
"Does she sound ok?" Jake asked Immediately.  
"What do you think?" Josh replied.  
Jakes heart sank. So she was doing ok without him. Josh rolled his eyes at the look on his brother's face. "Dude she sounded horrible. Obviously she misses you." Jake felt bad she didn't sound good but his brother's words had raised his spirits slightly. "What was Onyx's last name before you guys got married?" Josh asked.  
"Skys." Jake replied Immediately.  
Josh raised his eyebrows,"Onyx Skys?"  
Jake nodded.  
"Poor girl." Josh mumbled under his breath.  
Jake paced the room as his brother focused on his laptop. _'What if I go to California and she won't see me?'_ Jake wondered; panic spreading through him more and more with each step he took. After a few minutes Josh looked up and smiled,"It's way to easy to find people on the internet. I should be like a private investigator or something."  
Jake rolled his eyes and smiled, some of his built up tension released slightly. "Ill buy our tickets." Josh continued,"and we can leave tomorrow."  
Jake grimaced,"cool." He said quietly.  
Josh stood up and clapped his brother on the back,"Don't worry everything will work itself out."

Onyx looked at her thin body in the mirror on the back of her bedroom door in disgust. Her eating habits had only gotten worse after leaving Jake. Not only was she falling apart mentally but now she was falling apart physically. She climbed into bed and pulled the blankets up to her chest. Onyx was starting to understand why people became drug addicts. At that moment she wanted nothing more then Oblivion. She was tired of mourning, tired of hurting, tired of yearning, tired of living. Tired. Tired. Tired. Onyx always heard people say they'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. To Onyx those people were crazy. Onyx closed her eyes_,'don't let this beat you.'_ She thought desperately, but even as she thought it she knew she had been beaten a long time ago.

Around 7:00 Pm the next day Jake and Josh pulled up outside of Onyx's house. "I can't do this." Jake blurt out. "Relax." Josh replied, "It will be fine. Go get your girl." Jake nodded, took a deep breath and stepped out of the rental care. Jake walked slowly and deliberately up the path leading to the house. He paused when he reached the porch steps. Jake couldn't bring himself to walk up them. He stood motionless until Josh honked the horn at him. Jake shook his head and walked up the steps two at a time. He banged on the door, perhaps harder than she should have and stepped back nervously. After a few moments the door swung open to reveal a short angry looking woman. He could tell right away due to the glare on her face and the way she stood with her hand on her hip that she was Onyx's mother. "Um hello Miss Skys I'm Jake... Onyx's husband."  
Leeyah cocked her head to the side,"don't you mean soon to be ex husband."  
"Uh right." Jake said awkwardly,"can I see her?"  
"No."  
"Excuse me?"  
"She isn't here."  
Jake's heart sank. Could Onyx just stay in one place? "Where is she?" He asked nervously.  
"She's checking out schools nearby." Leeyah replied.  
"When will she back?"  
"I don't know."  
"Well can you tell her that I stopped by? And thatt I got a hotel nearby."  
Jake unzipped his red hoodie and pulled it off. "And can you give this to her?" Leeyah wrinkled her nose slightly as she took the hoodie from Jake. Leeyah smiled, "sure."  
Jake stood there awkwardly for a few moments and then hurried back to the car.

As soon as the car disappeared the smile immedietly fell off of Leeyah's face and she slammed the door. Leeyah held the sweater by the tips of her fingers not wanting it to get to close to her. She walked to the closet where she kept the cleaning supplies and hid it behind the vaccume cleaner. Leeyah Skys didn't have the slightest intention of telling Onyx about Jake's visit.


	12. Chapter 12

_And now,  
I miss everything about you  
Can't believe that I still want you  
And after all the things we've been through  
I miss everything about you  
Without you..._

"Onyx stop your damn pouting!" Leeyah demanded.  
Onyx pulled her blankets over her head and continued to ignore her mother. She had been in bed most of the week and couldn't bring herself to get up. What was the point? Leeyah sighed and sat down on the edge of her daughter's bed. "You're getting a second chance." She continued," Marrying that boy was a mistake. Now you can go to school, get a job, and live a respectable life."  
"Why?" Onyx spat from underneath the blankets,"So I can be miserable my whole life like you?"  
"From where I'm standing you're a whole lot more miserable than I am. Just move on."  
Onyx threw the blankets off of her and sat up,"You say it like its so easy! You never loved my dad the way I love Jake! He was my first... everything! I had a baby with him."  
"Well you don't have a baby now do you? I don't understand what's holding you back."  
Onyx's lip trembled. How could someone be so insensitive? "You're right I don't have a baby now. At least I'll never have to explain to him why his grandma is such a crazy bitch."  
"Stop being so dramatic." Leeyah snapped,"You're a child. You're incapable of being a good mother."  
"Yeah well what's your excuse?"  
"Don't tell me I'm not a good mother. You got everything you wanted when you were growing up! I'm sorry I didn't support you covering your body with those disgusting tattoos and you running off with some boy you didn't even know! Look where that got you? It wasn't even worth it!"  
"So what you bought me things! It was just to keep me out of the way. You didn't show me any real affection my whole life! My dad loved me but you were so jealous of the attention he gave me you pushed and pushed until he moved back to Nigeria! And Marrying Jake was worth it! He loved me in a way nobody else ever could or ever will. And I don't regret a god damn day with him!"  
"How can you be so sure he loved you?" Leeyah asked,"Has he tried to contact you once since you left?"  
"leave me alone."

Leeyah stood up and smoothed out her pencil skirt. "Let me know when you want to talk like a mature adult." She left the room and closed the door behind her. Onyx seized her old piggy bank and threw it at the door as it closed. It broke into hundreds of tiny pieces and change rolled across the floor in every direction. Onyx hated her mother in that moment with every fiber of her being. She always knew just what to say to hurt Onyx. It had been that way her whole life. What hurt most was the fact that her words were true. Jake hadn't tried to contact her once since she left, but that didn't stop Onyx from checking her phone every few minutes. Onyx wasn't completely sure what she would do if Jake called her. Would she even have the courage to answer? Jake had broken her heart by cheating on her. She wasn't sure if she would even be able to forgive him. The thought of him being intimate with someone else made her stomach turn_. 'He's probably in Washington right now living it up. He must be thrilled to not have to deal with me anymore.'_ She just wanted him to care. Care enough to call and say he still loved her, that he missed her, he was sorry. Anything. Why did she have to force her way onto the Northwestern? Why? She should have just stayed home and waited for him. Then everything would have been ok. They would have still been together.

"Why hasn't she called?" Jake said quietly into his hands, "I just want to talk to her."  
Josh turned away from the window and looked at his brother. "I don't know." He replied honestly,"I thought she would have called by now."  
"I don't want to live without her dude. You always hear people say cheesy bullshit about soul mates and other halves but it's real with her. I'll never love anybody else. I can't sleep at night all I do is think about her! Like is she thinking about me too? Does she miss me at all? It hurts so bad. I don't know what to do."  
"Do you want to go back to the house?"  
"No! I told her mom I was in town! If Onyx wanted to see me she would call."  
"I'm sorry."  
"I'm gong for a walk."  
Josh opened his mouth to respond but then shook his head defeated. Jake strode out of the room and quickly exited the hotel. He lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. He felt slightly calmer as he exhaled the smoke. Jake began walking down the street with no destination. He just went where his feet carried him. Why did he have to be such a dick to her? Everybody was right she was nothing but good to him. The old saying was true, you don't know what you've got until its gone. _'What would pops say?'_ He thought miserably. Phil would have been extremely disappointed and Jake knew it. But that's what Jake had been to him his whole life, a disappointment. Never calm and collected like his brother, always the hot head. Jake closed his eyes_. 'Help me pops.' _He pleaded. Jake quickly opened his eyes as if some sign from his dad was going to miraculously appear in front of him. He leaned against the brick wall of a building and ran his hand through his hair_. 'It's over.'_ He told himself.  
Jake looked across the street at the small movie theatre. Couples walked hand and hand into the theatre making Jake's stomach turn. A sign in front advertised that the theatre was having a _'classic film romances night._' Jake's eyes traveled up to the marquee_. From Here to Eternity_ was the movie currently playing_. 'From here to eternity.'_ Jake said to himself. Immediately upon reading the words Onyx's image floated into his mind. A small smile played across his face. _'What? Is that my sign?'_ He had to make things right with Onyx. He couldn't go another day without her. Jake turned and walked back the direction he came from and forty five minutes later he arrived back at the hotel. "How was your walk?" Josh asked as he entered the room  
Jake shrugged,"I'm going to call her."

Leeyah entered Onyx's room to try and talk some sense into her. She was annoyed to find that Onyx was fast asleep. Leeyah rolled her eyes and turned to exit the room. She saw a small light out of the corner of her eye and turned to look for the source. Onyx's cell phone was vibrating across the dresser. Leeyah quickly grabbed it before it woke her daughter up. She looked down at the screen and saw it was Jake. Leeyah glanced at her daughter to make sure she was still sleeping and stepped into the hall, quietly closing the door behind her. "Hello?" Leeyah said sweetly.  
"Uh hello?" Jake replied  
"Can I help you?" Leeyah sneered.  
"Where's Onyx?"  
"Oh she's standing right next to me."  
"Can I talk to her then?" Jake said slightly irritably.  
"No I'm sorry. She'd like me to tell you not to call her again. You're relationship is over and you need to accept it. She's moving on and you should too."  
"She...she said that?"  
"Yes she did."  
Jake hung up without another word. Leeyah deleted the call history and smiled to herself as she slipped back inside the room and placed the phone back where she found it. She was feeling rather satisfied with herself. She was doing what was best for her daughter after all.

Jake's hand fell limply at his side.  
"What happened?" Josh asked Immediately.  
"She...she doesn't want me to call her. She said to move on."  
"Jake I..."  
"Save it." Jake said cutting him off, "I want to go home. We've been down here a week and it was a fucking waste of time."  
"Ok." Josh said simply, "let's go."  
They quickly packed and headed to the airport. Neither speaking the entire drive nor the entire flight. Jake rested his head on the window, tears silently pouring down his face until his eyes couldn't form anymore.

…

Over the next month Onyx finally started to accept that she and Jake were over. She had taken her wedding ring off and all she had left to do was officially file for divorce. Admittedly she checked her phone every single day for Jake but he hadn't called once. Onyx stopped arguing with her mother and just let her say whatever she wanted about her. What was the point? In the end she had been right. Onyx stood in the kitchen with her mother peeling potatoes for dinner. "My co worker has a son about your age Onyx. He's going to go to law school."  
"That's nice mom." Onyx replied unenthusiasticly.  
"Should I set up a date?"  
Onyx sighed,"Do whatever you want."  
"Ok I will." Leeyah said with a smile.  
Onyx reached for another patato and knocked a pitcher of ice tea off of the counter. Leeyah rolled her eyes."Go get some sponges Onyx." She said exasperatedly. Onyx slammed the potato peeler down and headed toward the hall closet. She grimaced as she opened the door. It was crammed with cleaning supplies and useless junk. That was just like her mother. Put together on the outside but as soon as you took a look on the inside she was full of shit. Onyx got down on her knees and began to move stuff around. "I don't see it!" She yelled. She was already getting annoyed. "Well look harder!" Her mother called back. Onyx pushed the vacuum roughly and it toppled over on its side. Onyx suddenly heard a loud clatter from the kitchen and looked over her shoulder. "Get out of the closet!" Her mother screamed from the kitchen.  
"Why?" Onyx yelled back.  
"Just get out!"  
"Whatever." Onyx mumbled as she continued looking for the sponges. Then something caught her eye. She reached for it and yanked it out of the closet just as her mother appeared behind her breathing heavily. Onyx gazed down at the red hoodie in her lap. Her hands shook as she touched it. "Onyx." Her mother said slowly,"let me explain."  
"NO!" Onyx screamed as she quickly stood up,"Do not tell me you've been hiding this from me! I know your not crazy enough to pull something like this."  
"I was trying to help you."  
"Was. He. Here?"  
"Yes."  
Onyx's mouth fell open in shock. Her mind was spinning. All this time she thought Jake had forgotten about her when he had actually came to California. "How could you?" Onyx began to cry for the first time in over a month.  
"I was trying to protect you."  
"You saw how bad I was hurting! And you just let me suffer!"  
"He was no good for you and you know it! Or you wouldn't have asked for a divorce!"  
"You stupid bitch!" Onyx screamed.  
"Don't you dare talk to me like that!"  
"What else have you been hiding from me!"  
"Well... I spoke to him over the phone."  
"What did you say?"  
"I told him to move on and not to call you."  
Onyx placed her hand against the wall for support and closed her eyes. "I hate you." She said softly.  
"You don't mean that."  
"Yes I do. More than you could imagine."  
Onyx raced up the stairs and locked her bedroom door. Within seconds her mom was banging on the door begging Onyx to let her in. Onyx ignored her and frantically began packing her things. _'Crazy sociopath bitch.'_ She thought bitterly. When Onyx finished she sat down on her bed and pulled out her phone. She quickly dialed Jake's number and placed the phone against her ear. It went straight to voice mail...

_Hey you've reached Jake... Don't count on me returning your call._

"Shit." Onyx said loudly as she ended the call. Even hearing Jake's voice as a recording made her heart pound. She quickly scrolled through her contacts to Josh's number. It went straight to voice mail as well...

_You've got Josh! Proud co owner of the Cornelia Marie! Catch ya after Opies bitch!_

Onyx slowly pulled her phone away from her ear and sat it down beside her. So the boys had finally gotten the Cornelia Marie. They had wanted it for so long but in that moment it was impossible for Onyx to be happy. She desperately needed to talk to Jake but he was obviously out fishing for Opilios. When Onyx found his sweater she was momentarily given hope, but now she once again felt defeated_. 'Damnit.'_ She thought angrily upon realizing she didn't even have the number for the boat's satellite phone. What the hell was she supposed to do now? Onyx bit her lip. _'Does the Alaska coast guard have the number? They have to... Right?'_ Onyx ran her hands threw her hair and sighed. "Looks like I'm going back to Alaska."

**Pwease review (:  
Ill love you more than Freddie maugatai loves to say SWEET!**


	13. Chapter 13

Jacob Harris' eyes were heavy as he gazed out at the vast Bering Sea. He wanted nothing more than to crawl into his bunk and go to sleep with the rest of the crew but he couldn't do that anymore. He and his brother were responsible for the five men downstairs sleeping. Jake smiled to himself, 'Captain _Jake Harris.'_ He knew his father would be proud of him and he swelled with pride at the thought. The crew followed every order Jake and Josh gave, Jake and Josh were getting along pretty well, and they were doing a good job for greenhorn captains. There was only one thing Jake was missing. Onyx. He had a never ending aching for her. Onyx had wanted him to move on but he couldn't. The thought alone shook him. Jake missed her smile, her laugh, the way she rolled her eyes when he got on her nerves, the way she sometimes stamped her foot when she was pissed, the way she would wrap her arms around him when she saw he was hurting even if she was furious with him. There wasn't anything he didn't miss about her. Jake felt empty without his wife. If it wasn't for the constant misery that consumed him he wouldn't have known he was alive at all. When he closed his eyes he dreamt of nothing but her. She was always close enough to touch, but every time he would reach for her she would laugh mockingly at him and disappear. Jake would scream her name; and beg for her to return, but she never did. Jake rubbed his eyes wearily and sat up straighter in his seat. He nodded at his brother as he entered the wheel house. "Thanks." Jake said while stifling a yawn as Josh handed him a cup of coffee. He stood up and allowed Josh to take his place in the captains chair. Jake sat down in the Co captains chair and put his feet up. He slumped into a more comfortable position and sipped his coffee. "I wonder what dad would say if he could see us now." Josh said softly. Jake smiled,"Well if he were here he'd tell us to get the hell out of his wheel house and get back on deck." The boys laughed and were soon lost in their own memories of their father. "But I think he'd be really happy we got the boat." Jake continued when the laughter ceased," and our captains' licenses. Plus his crew all got to keep their jobs."  
"Yeah. I just wish he was here to see how good of a job we're doing."  
"I'm sure he can see us dude. Onyx thinks that when you die you..."  
Jake stopped talking and drank his coffee. Instantly there was tension in the room. Jake hadn't said Onyx's name aloud since they left California and he could tell Josh was waiting to see if he would say something else.  
"Jake..." Josh said nervously.  
"Don't."  
"You could always try calling her again."  
"I did everything I could. I flew across the fucking country. I waited for her at a hotel for a week! She didn't even tell me to move on herself! Her mom had to do it! If she cared about me she would have talked to me. So no I won't call her."  
"Don't give her up."  
"She gave me up. I'm done talking about this."

Onyx sat down on the rickety bed in her hotel room and stared at the piece of paper in her hand. She had arrived in Alaska two days before and had gotten ahold of the coast guard as soon as she arrived. It took a lot less convincing than she had expected to get the number to the boats satellite phone but she hadn't been able to work up the courage to call. Onyx wasn't even sure what she wanted to say to Jake. She certainly hadn't forgiven him for cheating. Just thinking about it infuriated her but it was important to her that Jake knew she was oblivious to the fact he was in California. Her insides bubbled with guilt as she wondered what went through Jake's mind as he waited for her to call. _'He must have thought I turned my back on him.'_ If Onyx would have known he was there she would have went to see him Immediately. She could never turn her back on him no matter how much he had wronged her. Onyx laid down and stared at the ceiling_, 'I wouldn't have flown the way to Alaska for someone I didn't want to be with.'_ She told herself. Onyx buried her head in her hands, _'and he wouldn't have flown all the way to California.' _Undeniably Onyx wanted Jake back but he had broken her trust. She picked up her phone and dialed the number with shaking fingers. Onyx shook her head and quickly ended the call before it had the chance to ring. She couldn't bring herself to call him. What if he didn't want to talk to her? What if he didn't love her anymore?

Relief spread through Jake's body when Ryan came up for wheel watch and he was finally able to get into bed. His brothers snores filled the room almost Immediately and Jake threw a pillow at him. Josh mumbled angrily but a few minutes later was once again snoring loudly. Jake closed his eyes but found he was unable to sleep. He was tired but he was even more tired of dreaming about Onyx_. 'Stop thinking about her.' _He told himself. But his thoughts drifted to her regardless of his attempts to stop it. Was she able to sleep through the night without him? He certainly couldn't without her. Could she go a day without wondering what he was doing? Jake felt as if all he did was wonder what she was doing. Finally Jake felt himself drifting off; and there she was taunting him mercilessly.

"Jake get the hell up!" Someone yelled loudly.  
Jake slowly opened his eyes. "What's going on?" He asked drowsily. He rubbed his eyes and saw Ryan standing over him. Josh was slowly untangling himself from his blankets. "What's wrong?" Jake asked.  
"Onyx." Ryan replied.  
Jake jumped out of the bed ."What happened?" He asked urgently as panic spread through him.  
"Nothing. She's on the phone."  
Jake didn't comprehend what Ryan had just said. He must of misunderstood him because of how tired he was. "What?" Jake asked.  
"Onyx is on the phone!'"  
Jake's brain kicked into gear and he raced into the wheel house. Jake threw himself into the captains' chair and grabbed the phone.  
"Hello?" He asked. His voice cracked as he said it.  
There was nothing but static on the other end. Jake gripped the phone tightly as he waited for Onyx's response. "Hello?" He repeated. Still there was nothing but static. Jake closed his eyes, disappointment washed over him. He hadn't got there in time. She had hung up. "Jake?"  
Jake gripped the phone so tightly it hurt his hand.  
"Onyx are you there?" He replied quickly. For a moment it was once again silent but then he heard Onyx crying. "Onyx what happened?" He asked. Jake knew it had to be bad for her to call him. Silence. Jake knew Onyx well enough to know she was trying to force herself not to cry even over the phone.  
"Jake I didn't know." She said, her voice trembled as she spoke.  
"Didn't know what?"  
"That you were in California."  
Jake's eyebrows furrowed,"What do you mean you didn't know?"  
Onyx once more began to cry and Jake waited impatiently for her to control herself.  
"My mom hid it from me."  
"You're lying she told me what you said! You said to move on and not to call you!"  
Jake tried to control his temper but it was slowly rising.  
"I never said that! Or anything even close! I checked my phone every single day hoping you would call! I thought you had forgotten about me."  
"How could you think I would forget about you? I sat in a hotel room for a week waiting for you!"  
"I swear I didn't know Jacob."  
"Well is that what you called to tell me?" Jake asked, "That you didn't know I was in California? Or were you going to say something else?"  
"Like what?"  
"Like maybe we should get back together! I don't want a divorce Onyx."  
"I don't want to talk about that over the phone."  
"Well when are we going to talk about it?" Jake asked irritably,"I'm fishing I can't fly back to California right now."  
"Yeah I know Jake, but I'm not in California."  
"Where are you?"  
"Dutch. I'll be waiting here for you to finish the season."  
"You flew all the way to Alaska. Why?"  
"I... don't know."  
"I won't be done for three more weeks Onyx."  
Jake pressed the phone closer to his ear as he waited for Onyx's response. "I'll be waiting." She said softly. "Ok baby." He replied as he ran his hand through his hair, "I can't wait to see you but I have to go. It's time for the guys to go back out deck."  
"Ok bye Jake."  
"I love you." Jake said quickly but Onyx had already hung up.

Jake wasn't sure how he felt after his conversation with Onyx. He was stoked he got to talk to her and incredibly relieved she hadn't been ignoring him back in California. The fact that she was waiting for him in Dutch Harbor blew his mind but his hopes of getting her back weren't high. _'I don't want to talk about that over the phone' _to jake sounded like a fancy way of saying _no, I don't want to get back with you_. He hoped Onyx would be willing to give him a second chance once he told her he never actually cheated on her but he also knew she would be pissed at him for lying.  
Jake rubbed his hands over his face in an attempt to wake himself up. _'The next three weeks are going to go by so fucking slow'_ he thought bitterly.

Onyx tossed her phone on the bed and laid down. She was really proud of herself for calling Jake. As soon as she heard his voice she broke down into tears and it made Onyx realize just how much she wanted him back. She had already known before but now she wanted to see him so bad it hurt. Memories flooded back to her making her heart pound. As the good memories flooded back so did the bad and she once again started to feel conflicted. Onyx loved Jake with all her heart but she was tired of all the pain and the lies. But wasn't she feeling more pain without him then she ever had with him?

Jake stared anxiously out of the wheel house window and drummed his fingers against his leg. He had expected the last three weeks to go by slow but they had went by so slow Jake had started to think that the clocks were broken. Jake was grateful Josh was the one driving the boat back to Dutch because he was far to anxious to focus.  
Jake's heart pounded as they got closer to Dutch. He had called Onyx that morning and told her they would be arriving later in the day. Jake was praying that she would be waiting there for them.  
"I'm going to throw up." Jake mumbled as he sat down on the bench behind the captains chair.  
Josh laughed,"relax dude. It's going to work out."  
"Yeah." Jake mumbled. Jake didn't say anything else he was worried that if he opened his mouth again he might actually throw up.

Ten minutes later Josh began to laugh. "What?" Jake asked accusingly.  
"Nothing." Josh replied," I just see something on the docks you might like."  
Jake jumped up and looked out of the window. Onyx was standing on the docks bundled in a heavy coat and scarves but she was still unmistakable. "Hurry up Josh." Jake said impatiently.  
"Calm down you'll get make out with her in like five minutes."

Onyx's heart raced as the Cornelia Marie prepared to dock. She had forgotten just how stunning the boat was, but at the moment she was more interested in what was inside the boat than the boat itself. A few minutes later Jake appeared on deck and Onyx momentarily felt light headed. He was beautiful. Jake jumped onto the dock and walked slowly over to her. Onyx could tell by his body language he was nervous. It was understandable seeing as she thought she was going to faint at any moment. When Jake finally reached her he wrapped his arms around her and Onyx Immediately embraced him back. When he pulled away he lent in to kiss her, Onyx panicked and shifted uncomfortably. Jake noticed and kissed her on the cheek instead. She felt immensely guilty when she saw the disappointed look on his face and wasn't completely sure why she got so freaked out. It was just a kiss right? Jake glanced down at her left hand and Onyx instinctively tried to hide it from him. His face hardened and she knew he had seen she wasn't wearing her wedding ring.  
Jake didn't comment on it but she could see he was hurt. "Jake I'm sorry."  
"You don't have to explain yourself." He replied quickly.  
Onyx couldn't think of an appropriate response, "ok."  
"Look when we finish offloading do you think maybe I can take you out?"  
Onyx raised her eyebrows,"like a date?"  
Jake's cheeks flushed, "um yeah like a date."  
Onyx smiled, "I would love to."  
Onyx could visibly see relief spread through Jake and her smile widened. They had a lot of problems to work through If they were going to end up back together one day, but in that moment nothing on the planet could top a date with Jacob Harris.

**PLEASE REVIEW  
I'll love you more than Phil Harris loved duck farts.**


	14. Chapter 14

Onyx gazed at herself from every angle in the bathroom mirror. She was so nervous for her date with Jake she felt nauseous. Onyx just wanted Jake to think she looked beautiful. She had gained weight so that her size zero jeans once again fit her with no room to spare but she was still self conscious. What if Jake thought she still looked unhealthy? Onyx rolled her eyes at her reflection and then exited the bathroom. All of her clothes were strewn across the bed most of which she had tried on and then angrily yanked back off. Nothing she had seemed to fit the mood for that evening. In the end Onyx decided on skin tight black skinny jeans with rips strategically placed on the knees, a Johnny Cash t-shirt, cheetah print cardigan, and her old converse. She definitely wasn't dressed up but she didn't want to appear like she was trying too hard. _'Your not going on a blind date!'_ She told herself,_'he's your husband!'_ The thought did little to calm her nerves if anything it made her more anxious. Onyx was trying not to expect too much from the evening but she couldn't shake the image of him sweeping her away at the end of the night. It was unrealistic. Onyx wasn't willing to give into him that easy, she was still heartbroken; but she'd be a liar if she said the moment he wrapped his arms around her she didn't finally feel safe.

Onyx sat down on the bed and applied a coat of red lipstick. She checked her phone and tapped her foot anxiously as she waited for Jake to pick her up. _'Please let this go ok.'_ She pleaded to any force that could possibly help her. Onyx jumped as Jake knocked. She quickly checked her hair in the mirror before walking over to the door. Onyx grasped the handle but hesitated before opening it. Her heart was hammering so hard she would have been unsurprised if Jake heard it through the door. Onyx took a deep breath and pulled open the door. Jake looked incredibly handsome and Onyx couldn't have hid her smile if she tried. He was wearing a pair of dark fitted jeans, a green and gray flannel, a pair of Vans' chukkas, and he had a beanie perched on top of his head. "Hey." She said nervously.

"Hey." Jake replied. He was in awe. It had always been incredible to him how amazing she could make anything look. She wore no make up, only lipstick and Jake wondered if she had done that for him. She knew he despised make up and girls who wore a ton of it._'Make up is just a trick that makes ugly girls less ugly.' _Jake knew he was shallow for thinking it but that didn't make it any less true. "So are you ready to go?" Jake asked.  
"Yes." Onyx replied. Onyx quickly stepped into the hall and closed the door behind her. Jake glanced down at Onyx's hand and wondered if he should grab it. _'Fuck.'_ Jake thought to himself as Onyx began to dig inside her tote bag. He had lost his chance. Jake threw his arm over her shoulders and Onyx stiffened at his touch, but he felt her relax as they continued to walk. They made small talk as they walked the short distance to the restaurant. It was an odd experience to be making small talk with your wife but Jake was still to nervous to talk about anything deeper. Jake figured the night would end in one of two ways. Romance or utter disaster.

Onyx laughed as Jake pulled out her chair for her at the restaurant. Jake raised his eyebrows. "A little much?" He asked.  
"Just a little." Onyx replied with a smile.  
Jake gave her his signature smirk and then sat down across from her. Jake looked around the room and smiled.  
"What?" Onyx asked.  
"Nothing. I was just thinking about how crazy it is that the most gorgeous person in the room, quite possibly the world is sitting at this table."  
Onyx smiled,"Thank you."  
Jake raised an eyebrow. "Thanks for what? I was talking about myself."  
A wide grin spread across Onyx's face and she started to crack up. Typical Jake. He could always make her laugh no matter how uncomfortable the situation. Laughing felt foreign to Onyx she couldn't remember the last time she really laughed, but she knew it was with Jake. Who else could it have been? Nobody else knew just what to say to make her smile or laugh so hard her sides hurt. Nobody else knew her most ticklish spots or what facial expressions would always make her giggle. Nobody but him really knew her at all.

Jake took a sip of his drink and smiled weakly at Onyx. "So how are you? How have you been?" He asked. "Not so good." Onyx replied, "You?"  
"I don't know how to describe the way I've been feeling."  
"Why?"  
"The words empty, cold, and miserable aren't strong enough."  
Onyx shifted uncomfortably and took a sip of her drink to give her something to do. How the hell did you respond to something like that? His words hit her like a rogue wave and shook her to the core. She felt the exact same way; constantly hurting but never able to describe it. "I hope you know I didn't leave because I didn't love you. I never stopped loving you."  
"I know why you left Onyx." He replied softly,"I made a mistake."  
"I don't want to talk about that." Onyx said sharply.  
"But there is something I need to..."  
"No Jake. I don't want to talk about it I'm serious."  
"Ok." Jake said defeated. He didn't want to push Onyx and make her leave.  
Onyx cleared her throat,"I didn't mean to snap at you I just..."  
Jake cut her off,"I know. It's ok."  
Onyx smiled,"So what's it like to be a Captain?"  
Jake's face lit up and Onyx got butterflies.  
"It's amazing Onyx. Being up in the wheel house knowing your in charge has got to be the second or third best feeling on the planet." Jake's smile widened, "And I'm good at it Onyx. I was scared shitless that I wouldn't be to handle it; but we're catching crab, the crew doesn't hate us, and the boat is still afloat."  
Onyx became more and more emotional with each work that Jake said. It had been a long time since she had seen Jake that happy. Onyx was incredibly proud of him and she knew Phil was somewhere in heaven throwing back a duck fart and telling anyone that would listen that his boys were captains. She wiped her eyes before tears could escape down her face. Jake's smile fell and was replaced with a worried expression. "What's wrong?" He asked.  
"Nothing." Onyx said with a smile,"I'm just so proud of you."  
"Uh...thanks.." Jake said awkwardly as he adjusted his beanie.  
Onyx laughed,"So anyways you said being up in the wheel house was the second best feeling in the world what's the first?"  
Jake took a sip of his drink before responding, "there's a tie for first place."  
"Between?"  
"Making you smile, your body against mine, and hearing you say that you love me."  
"Always the sweet talker."  
What Onyx really wanted to do was throw herself into his arms; and tell him to forget the past. Nothing mattered but being together, but she couldn't. As soon as those thoughts floated into her mind the thought of him with that other girl soon followed. Jake frowned,"that wasn't a joke Onyx. That's how I really feel."

When they finished eating Jake walked Onyx back to her hotel. This time Jake grabbed her hand as soon as they exited the restaurant. Relief spread through him as Onyx immediately entwined her fingers with his. Jake hoped that his palms weren't to sweaty he was extremely nervous after all but Onyx didn't make any comment on it.  
Onyx pulled away from him as they approached her hotel room. "I enjoyed tonight." She said quietly.  
"Onyx..."  
"Yeah?"  
"Can I come in for a little while. Please?"  
"I don't know Jake."  
"Please Onyx. I just want to spend a little more time with you. I won't try anything I promise."  
Jake waited anxiously as Onyx thought it over. He genuinely had no intentions of trying anything with her. All he wanted was to be near her.  
"ok." Onyx finally replied.

Onyx unlocked the door and quickly stepped inside.  
Jake laughed as he looked around her room. Onyx wished she had taken the time to put all of her clothes away before leaving. "I'll be right back." She said as she grabbed a pair of shorts and went into the bathroom to change. Once she was changed she leaned against the wall and rubbed her eyes wearily. Having Jake in her hotel room was far more nerve racking than a date.  
_'Get it together!'_ Onyx told herself as she opened the door. Jake was sitting cross legged on the bed absentmindedly playing with a hole in his sock. He had removed his beanie and his hair stood up in all directions. _'He's so freaking cute.'_ Onyx thought. Onyx climbed onto the bed and sat cross legged as well. Jake grabbed her left hand and ran his thumb over her ring finger. Onyx once again had the urge to hide her hand from him.  
"When did you take your wedding ring off?" He asked.  
Onyx pulled her hand away from him and covered it with her right hand. "A few weeks ago." She replied.  
"I never took mine off." Jake said some what defensively.  
"It was too hard looking at it on my finger everyday. I thought taking it off would help."  
"Did it?"  
"No"  
"What did you do with it?"  
Onyx reached inside of her shirt and pulled out a thin silver chain. Her wedding ring was dangling from it. "At first I kept it in my jewelry box but I kept taking it out to make sure it was still there like someone was going to steal it or something. Putting it on a necklace made me feel a little more comfortable."  
Jake gave her a small smile,"I'm just glad you didn't throw it away."  
"You know I wouldn't do that."  
"Yeah. Look Onyx I really need to tell you something."  
_'What now?' _Onyx thought irritably. She could tell from his tone that it was serious. "What is it?"  
Jake took a deep breath,"It's about the night you left." Onyx shook her head. She knew exactly where this conversation was going and she wanted nothing to do with it. "I told you I don't want to talk about it."  
"Onyx I didn't cheat on you." Jake said quickly before Onyx could stop him.  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
Onyx felt nothing but shock as Jake told her the truth about what had happened that night. So Jake had intended to cheat on her but couldn't go threw with it. It was the exact same thing that had happened with her and Edgar over a year ago. Tears pooled in Onyx's eyes,"Why would you lie? Why didn't you try and stop me from leaving?"  
Jake shook his head and looked down at his hands,"I thought you were cheating on me with Edgar. By the time I realized you hadn't you were already gone."  
Onyx was speechless. Completely and utterly speechless. She was relieved, pissed, happy, and disappointed all at once.  
"I was so stupid." Jake continued, "I don't want to lose you Onyx."  
"I don't want to lose you either Jake, but I think we should take things slow."  
Jake looked disappointed but forced a smile.  
"I'll take anything I can get." He said quietly.

That night Onyx let Jake spend the night. He slept on the opposite side of the bed and didn't even try to kiss her. He did hold her hand throughout the night however. Onyx slept an hour at most and she was positive Jake wasn't sleeping either. Neither of them attempted to speak to each other they were lost in their own thoughts. Onyx was mentally exhausted. She couldn't take being confused anymore. It was destroying her. The main reason she didn't want to get back with Jake was that he cheated on her but she had just found out that it had never actually happened. Still she was wary of giving him back her trust.

The next morning Jake took Onyx to breakfast at a small cafe down the street from the hotel. Jake continued to respect her wishes and take it slow; and Onyx was grateful. They laughed the entire meal and Onyx felt like she had her best friend back. The next step was finding a way to get her husband back. _'That will come later.'_ She told herself. When they were thru Jake walked Onyx back to her hotel room. He kissed her on the cheek and pushed her bangs out of her face.  
"Josh and I have some work to do on the boat. I'll see you later ok?"  
Onyx nodded and entered her room. She began peeling her clothes off and headed straight to the bathroom for a shower. "Oh my god!" Onyx said loudly as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. The necklace that carried her wedding ring was gone. She raced back into the room and began to tear it apart in search of her wedding ring. Thirty minutes later Onyx collapsed on the bed feeling defeated_. 'Where the hell could it be? Jake is going to kill me.'  
_  
Over the next week Jake and Onyx spent all of their time together. They were avoiding flying back to Washington because neither one of them wanting to start worrying about living arrangements. It was becoming increasingly difficult for Onyx to take it slow with Jake. She felt like she was falling in love all over again. Onyx didn't stop smiling the entire time she was with him and at night she lay awake thinking of him. She still hadn't found her ring but Onyx didn't have the courage to tell him. Especially since things were going so good between them. They were sitting in Onyx's room eating sandwiches Jake had gotten from the local deli. "Want to go for a walk?" Jake asked Once Onyx finished eating. Onyx nodded and stood up.

Jake grabbed her hand and pulled her closer to him as they walked. After walking in silence for a few minutes Jake suddenly stopped and grabbed Onyx's free hand with his. "Onyx I love you so much."  
"I love you too Jake."  
He let go of her hands and reached into his pocket. Jake pulled out her wedding ring and held it up so she could see it. Onyx's mouth fell open,"You stole my ring! I've been looking for it everywhere!"  
"Yeah I did. I had to wait until you fell asleep and it took forever." Jake said as if the memory haunted him.  
"Why?" Onyx asked. She was completely bewildered.  
Jake got down on one knee and Onyx couldn't believe what she was seeing.  
"Jake what..."  
" I know you want to take it slow Onyx but I'm not myself unless I'm with you. Being the Captain of the Cornelia doesn't mean as much without you being there with me. It kills me knowing I pushed you away. I'll be a better husband I promise. I know I've said that before but I swear to god I mean it. I'll do anything to prove it. Will you marry me again Onyx? We'll do it right this time. We can have a big wedding just like you wanted the first time. Please Onyx. Will you be my wife again?"

...

**Please REVIEW (:  
Ill love you more than Jake and ****Josh Harris**** loved to use Phil's credit card.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N. Only one chapter left. (Oh my) I'll be posting the first chapter of my new story Under the Rose at the same time I post the final chapter.  
I'm sure you've figured out by now its a ****Deadliest Catch**** fic (:. This time about Edgar. I hope everyone checks it out :D.**

"Jake I..."  
Onyx had been expecting Jake to do something to win her over but she certainly hadn't been expecting him to ask her to marry him again. Her mind was spinning and she felt on the verge of collapsing. Onyx gazed down at the worried yet hopeful expression on Jake's face and was speechless. She was at a crossroads and didn't know which way to go. _'So tell him no then.'_ She told herself. What would happen if Onyx said no? Undoubtedly she would remain single for years quite possibly the rest of her life. Onyx would never let her guard down for anybody else and she knew it. If she walked away forever and didn't look back she wouldn't have to worry about the fighting. The lies. The lack of trust. Onyx would be Physically free from Jake and the pain that being with him often caused but she would never be emotionally free. Jake was her first love. Her only love. She'd wonder where he was, what he was thinking, and if he'd fallen in love with someone else. Those things were all she thought about the short time they were apart. Onyx was positive she wouldn't survive that again. Without him there would be no more laughter. No more hope. No more love_. 'So tell him yes then.'_ If Onyx told him yes she knew there would be more fights. More Pain. More anger. However, she also knew that there would be more love. More dedication. More passion. Onyx had been given the kind of love people sometimes dreamt about for decades at just eighteen. No one could make her heart pound the way Jake could. Nobody else could replace her tears with laughter in a matter of seconds. No one could ever make her fall as helplessly in love the way he did. But she was scared. Terrified, that everything would fall apart again. _'Fine.'_ She told herself, _'If you can live without him and handle the thought of him being with someone else walk away. If you think you can go a day without crying over him just leave now. If you think you're better off without him then your wasting your time by being here.'  
_  
Onyx took a deep breath and looked up at the sky.  
Was her father in law looking down at them right now? Was her baby? _'No I can't live without him.'_ She decided. Onyx looked back down at Jake.  
"I'll be your wife again."  
Color spread across Jake's previously ghostly pale face. "Really?" He choked out.  
"Yes."  
Jake quickly slid her ring back on her finger where it belonged and stood up. Their faces were mere inches apart and Jake seemed to be asking her permission for something. Onyx nodded and Jake's lip crashed down on hers. She threw her arms around his neck and passionately kissed him back. Any doubts Onyx had about marrying him again disappeared. Nothing could have felt more right than his lips on hers. Jake placed his hands on her back and pressed her body against his.

It was a long time before Jake was able to force himself to pull away from Onyx. "I love you.".he said softly as he kissed her forehead.  
"I love you too." Onyx replied. Jake wrapped his arm around her and led her back to the hotel room. Jake felt like he could do back flips. He'd finally gotten his girl back. He would never be able to express to Onyx how grateful he was that she was giving him a second chance. _'I'm not going to fuck it up this time.' _He promised himself. Onyx leaned against the door as the reached her hotel room. Jake smiled, "Can I spend the night?"  
Onyx raised her eye brows, "You didn't think you had a choice did you?"  
Jake licked his lips as Onyx turned to un lock the door. Onyx had that familiar look in her eyes that set Jake on fire. He knew she had plans for him. Jake followed her into the room and quickly closed the door behind him. "Kiss me." Onyx demanded.  
Jake knew she was expecting him to roughly push his tongue into her mouth but instead he placed a hand on the side of her face and gently kissed her. The taste of her lips was one of the things that Jake had missed the most and he was savoring the moment. "I love you so much." Onyx said softly as she kissed him,"I don't ever want to be without you again." She said exactly what Jake had been dying to hear and he didn't want to ruin the moment by saying something stupid so he merely continued to kiss her. Onyx pulled away from him so that they were looking into each others eyes. A mischievous grin spread across Onyx's face. "Make love to me." She whispered as she reached for his belt buckle.  
"Are you sure?"  
Onyx unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops. "I guess so." Jake said as he licked his lips.  
He slowly slid his hands under Onyx's shirt and felt goose bumps bloom underneath his calloused hands. Onyx lifted her arms into the air and allowed Jake to pull her shirt off of her. Jake's heart pounded as he took in Onyx's petite body. It had been forever since the last time he had felt her smooth skin underneath his rough hands. Jake wound his hands in her hair and kissed the side of her neck. He moved upwards and kissed her just behind the ear where the word _Jacob _was permanently in deep black ink. His favorite. Jake placed his hands under Onyx's butt and picked her up, quickly carrying her to the bed. He gently laid her down and slowly peeled her jeans off of her. Onyx pushed Jake's jacket off of his shoulders and pulled his shirt over his head. She bit and kissed all along Jake's chest leaving tiny red marks behind her. Jake kicked his pants off and laid Onyx down. Onyx spread her legs and placed her hands on his neck; pulling him down to her. Jake ran his hands over her body; her tattoos like trails leading him to the places he most desired to touch. He lent down and kissed her, this time more demanding and Onyx moaned into his mouth. Jake bit her lip as he pulled away. Onyx arched her back slightly as Jake placed himself at her entrance. Onyx gasped and dug her fingers into his forearms as he entered her. "Jake I love you." She moaned as he pulled out and thrust back into her.  
"Say that again." Jake whispered. His heart was hammering and his breathing was becoming quick and heavy. "I love you!" Onyx repeated. Jake bit his lip and increased his speed. He had almost forgotten that making love to Onyx was pure ecstacy. No girl before her even came close to feeling as good as she did. Onyx's breathing soon became eratic and shallow. Jake know she was going to reach her peak at any moment so he increased his speed even more. After just a few more moments Onyx threw her head back and moaned loudly as he body shook with pleasure. "Jake." She cooed softly. That was all it took for him to tumble over the edge himself. Jake placed a quick kiss on her forehead before collapsing on the bed next to her. When Jake got his strength back he pulled Onyx close to him and held her tightly. Jake looked into Onyx's eyes and could tell she was going to cry. "What's wrong?" He asked.  
"I didn't... I didn't think…"  
Jake cut her off,"Yeah I know. I didn't think we would ever be together again either."  
Onyx smiled weakly," I'll never doubt there is a god again."  
Nothing had ever struck Jake quite like those words. He knew Onyx was never religious and she lost what little faith she did have when his dad and their baby passed away. To hear her say something like that finally made him understand how much he meant to her_. 'How could I be so insecure?'_ He wondered,_'I almost lost her because of that shit.'_ Jake vowed right then and there to never doubt Onyx again.

When Onyx closed her eyes to go to sleep that night there were no doubts or worries to cloud her mind. For the first time in an excruciatingly long time she was honestly happy. She could feel Jake's heartbeat against her back and felt calm. Onyx wasn't sure why but it had always been one of her favorite sensations. It wasn't long before Onyx fell asleep, dreaming about their wedding and wishing it was the next day.

The next morning when Onyx woke up Jake was already sitting up playing a game on his Iphone. Onyx smiled at the determined look on Jake's face. She sat up and wrapped her arm around his waist. Jake kissed the top of her head as she leaned against his chest. "Morning babe." He said. Jake sat his phone down and wrapped his arm around Onyx's shoulders. "Morning." Onyx yawned.  
"So are you ready to head home?" Jake asked.  
"Definitely."  
Jake smiled and rubbed the tips of his fingers against Onyx's scalp. Onyx crawled off of the bed and pulled on a pair of leggings. She turned to Jake and raised her eyebrows "So how bad is it?" She asked.  
"How bad is what?"  
"The house. We both know you don't ever clean. I'd be surprised if you knew where I kept anything. You also have a tendency to break things."  
Jake grimaced,"It's pretty bad."  
Onyx rolled her eyes,"Come on Jake."  
Jake put his hands up in surrender,"I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to. I won't make you clean any of it up." Jake smiled, "but you'll have to show me where the cleaning shit is."  
Onyx smiled,"I broke a few things at my moms house too don't worry."  
"I didn't mess anything up in baby's room."  
"I know."  
"But... I think we should take the crib and all those boxes and put them in the garage."  
Onyx crossed her arms and turned away from him. Baby Phil's room was all she had left of him and she didn't want to give it up.  
Jake stood up and hugged her. "Babe its not healthy for you to barricade yourself in there all the time. Your never going to heal that way. We're getting a brand new start and we need to take advantage of it."  
Onyx sighed and hugged him back, "I guess your right."

Early the next morning the pair arrived back in Washington. Onyx slept most of the way from the airport back to their house. Jake drummed his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently as he waited at a red light. He wanted to hurry up and get Onyx home. Jake was nervous about what Onyx was going to say when she saw the inside of the house. Yeah she broke _'a few things'_ at her mother's house, but Jake had demolished more than just a few things. When he left for Opilios he and Onyx were broken up so he saw no point cleaning up after himself. Now he wished he would have at least thrown his empty bottles of alcohol away. Jake grabbed Onyx's shoulder and shook her awake as he pulled into their drive way. "My house!" Onyx said sleepily as she opened her eyes. They lugged their suitcases out of the car and up the driveway.

Onyx's heart rate increased slightly as she waited for Jake to unlock the door. Onyx's jaw dropped when the door swung open. It was worse than she expected. Glass, bottles, other garbage littered the floor and she was nervous to see the rest of the house. The damage was worse and worse in each room she entered. Onyx cocked her head to the side and placed her hand on her hips, "really Jake?"  
Jake smiled guiltily at her, "I'm sorry..."  
_'How can one person be so destructive?'_ Onyx wondered. She wasn't mad at Jake at all however, she understood the frustration he felt while they were apart. Onyx's face broke into a smile and she kissed him on the cheek. "At least you didn't burn the house down." She said sweetly.  
Jake dug his hands in his pockets and looked around. "I guess I'd better start cleaning." He mumbled. Onyx smiled, "I'll help you."  
"You sure?"  
Onyx laughed, "I want to make sure you don't destroy anything else."  
"Suit yourself."

They spent the entire day cleaning and actually enjoyed themselves. They burst out laughing over the tiniest things and took dozens of breaks in which Jake picked her up and kissed her passionately or tickled her mercilessly. In the end the house was spotless and Jake even learned how to properly load a dishwasher. Onyx didn't stop smiling the whole day until she found herself standing in front of her baby's room. Jake entwined his fingers with hers and rested his hand on the door knob. "Are you ready?" He asked.  
"No." She replied instantly.  
"Come on babe you know that..."  
"I know I know!" Onyx said exasperatedly, "I'm sorry. Let's just do this before I change my mind."  
Jake kissed her and pushed open the door. Onyx walked over to the crib and pulled the only picture ever taken of Philip Hero Harris out from underneath the pillow. As she looked down at it tears immediately began to pool in her eyes. Seeing him was one of those things that never got easier. Onyx tucked it into her sweater pocket and watched helplessly as Jake broke down the crib. When it became too much she turned and looked at the mural of her father in law on the wall. Seeing him also didn't get any easier. Onyx suspected that if he had been around she and Jake would have never broken up in the first place. He could talk sense into someone better and faster than anyone else Onyx had ever met.

As soon as they finished carrying everything to the garage and they were back inside sitting on the couch Onyx broke down. "Talk to me Onyx." Jake said patiently as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. "What's wrong with me Jake? I had a baby and I barely remember him." Onyx cried, "I can't even see his face clearly unless I look at the picture." Jake held her tighter and felt tears begin to form in his own eyes. "Nothing is wrong with you Onyx." He said quietly, "His face is started to fade for me too. I know it fucking sucks but... I think that just happens after a while. There's nothing we can do about it. That doesn't mean you're forgetting him Onyx. It just means... that time has passed I guess."  
Onyx sniffled and wiped her eyes, "It would be so much easier if your dad was here."  
Jake shook his head and placed a hand on each side of her head. "What do you think he would say if he were here right now?"  
Onyx shrugged and waited for him to continue.  
"I think he would say shit happens that nobody likes but we can't let it beat us. He'd tell us that we have to stop thinking about yesterday and start thinking about tomorrow."  
Onyx smiled weakly and nodded, "You're starting to sound like him."  
Jake lent in and kissed her, "Come on Onyx. You've got a wedding to plan."  
Onyx raised her eyebrows, "Don't you mean we've got a wedding to plan?"  
"Nope. I meant you. I would love to help you but don't pretend for a second you're going to let me."  
Onyx feigned shock, "What do you mean? Of course I'll let you help!"  
Jake smiled, "ok then I want to have the reception at Bass pro shops. They have a lake."  
Onyx rolled her eyes, "Ummmm...Well maybe you can help with something smaller like invitations...or something." Jake laughed and rolled his eyes; and slid her off of his lap. They laid down on the couch together and Jake soon fell asleep. Onyx smiled as Jake's mouth fell open while he slept. Onyx couldn't wait for their wedding; this time in front of all their families and friends. What Onyx was most excited for was finally getting to write vows. At the courthouse all they had to do was sign papers it was far more like a business deal than a wedding. Excitement coursed through Onyx as she imagined herself walking down the aisle and seeing Jake waiting at the end for her. True it wasn't an actual wedding since they were already married; but it felt like they were starting over, and what could be a better beginning?

**PLEASE REVIEW (:  
I'll love you more than Josh from the wizard loves  
robbing banks :O**


	16. Chapter 16

The next six months were the most hectic of Onyx's life. She was planning a wedding in half the time it usually took. Every day there were meetings with florists, venue owners, caterers, designers, musicians, etc. The list went on and on. Onyx was incredibly stressed and although Jake attempted to help she preferred that he just provided moral support. Every time she allowed him to do more they ended up talking about Bass Pro Shops. Onyx was on her way to the final fitting of her wedding dress with Jason, Josh, and Josh's girlfriend Ashley. Jake was currently at home playing video games, he had been in a sour mood for hours arguing that he should be allowed to go since they were already married anyway. In the end Onyx was forced to go bridezilla on him until he agreed to stay home.

When they arrived at the bridal shop Onyx quickly stepped out of the car and strode up the walkway. She wanted to get the fitting done as quickly as possible. It was nine days before the wedding and Onyx's agenda was jam packed. After the fitting she needed to double and triple check the seating arrangements, go taste the wedding cake, make sure that no whiskey was going to be served in the open bar(fishermen and whiskey were never a good combination), and pick up new converse for Jake and all of his groomsmen (Onyx hated dress shoes). The bridal assistant smiled as they entered the shop. She outstretched her hand to Onyx."You must be the bride." She said warmly.  
"How did you know?" Onyx asked as she grasped the woman's hand.  
"You look completely flustered sweetie."  
Onyx smiled and shrugged, "You nailed that on the head."  
the assistant looked Onyx her up and down and laughed, "judging by the sweat pants and messy pony tail I'd say your wedding is within the next two weeks."  
Onyx laughed and nodded, "next Wednesday."  
The woman walked around the desk and picked up her schedule. "What can I help you with?"  
"I'm here for my last fitting."  
"Name?"  
"Onyx Harris."  
The woman looked up and smiled once she found Onyx's name on the schedule, "just head on back to the fitting rooms and I'll go find your dress and bring it back."  
Onyx nodded and they walking over to the fitting area. Josh, Ashley, and Jason all sat down while Onyx hovered nervously in front of them.  
"What if it doesn't fit?" She asked her voice sounding panicked.  
"It will be fine." They all replied exasperatedly. All three of them had been dealing with Onyx and her crazy wedding antics for the past six months.  
Onyx narrowed her eyes and pointed at Josh. "I brought you because you know Jake the best and I want you to tell me if you think he'll like my dress or not."  
"Ok." Josh said raising his eyebrows.  
"But I know he's going to ask you what it looks like..." Onyx continued, "and you better not tell him!"  
"I'm not going to tell him!" Josh replied sounding shocked. "Psycho." He added under his breath.  
Ashley nudged him in the ribs and smiled at Onyx, "Don't worry Jake thinks you look beautiful in everything."  
"Thank you." Onyx replied smiling.  
Onyx sat down next to Jason and rested her head on his shoulder. "Thank you." She said while stifling a yawn. "No problem. That's what I'm here for." Jason had definitely been the most helpful to her while she was trying to plan the wedding. He went with her everywhere and never lashed out on her when she went on a bridal rampage. He was also much more business savvy than she was and was able to get a lot of stuff she needed cheaper than the original price. "You're the best man of honor ever." Onyx said.  
"I know right." Jason replied, "I should start charging for my services.

A few minutes later the bridal assistant walked in the room holding a garment bag over her arm.  
"Ready?" She asked.  
"Absolutely." Onyx replied excitedly.  
They went behind a curtain and Onyx quickly removed her t-shirt and sweat pants. Onyx stared at herself in the mirror as the woman helped her into her dress. _'Please let it fit!'_ Onyx prayed. "Wow." Onyx said quietly once the dress was on. It was perfect everything fit exactly how she imagined it. "So what do you think?" The assistant asked. "It's perfect!" Onyx said excitedly. It was a crimson colored lace mermaid dress. The top was corset cut and it hugged her body perfectly.  
The woman pulled back the curtain so her entourage could see her. Ashley gasped, "Red?"  
Onyx shrugged, "I'm not a virgin so I didn't want to wear white and I think red is a really romantic color." Onyx bit her lip, "You don't like it?"  
"You look amazing!" Ashley gushed.  
Onyx smiled widely at her and turned her attention to Josh. "So what do you think?" She asked nervously.  
"I think that…"  
Onyx's heart pounded as she waited for Josh to reply. If Josh didn't like it chances were Jake wouldn't either.  
"You look stunning. Jake is going to freak out when he sees you." Josh finished.  
"Really?"  
"Definitely."  
"Thanks." Onyx said quietly as she tried her hardest not to cry.  
Jason smirked and dusted his shoulders off, "I totally helped pick that dress out."  
Onyx rolled her eyes and closed the curtain. _'Finally.'_ Onyx thought to herself as she looked once more at her reflection. She couldn't believe she was in a wedding dress it was making her head spin.

Onyx held on to her dress tightly as they walked back to the car. She was ecstatic to finally be leaving with it. Onyx tenderly handed the dress to Jason and then started the car. She had to drop Josh and Ashley off at their house before she could continue running errands. Onyx pulled into their drive way and turned around to look at Josh. "You have to take my dress with you."  
His mouth fell open, "Why?"  
"Because I can't take it back to my house! You and I both know that Jake is going to look at it as soon as my back is turned."  
Josh nodded in agreement, "yeah he definitely will."  
Ashley stepped out of the car and Jason carefully handed her the garment bag through the window. "Josh." Onyx said sternly, "if something happens to my dress I will kill you."  
Josh gave Onyx a wide smile, "And I thought bridezilla was an urban legend. How foolish of me."  
Onyx smiled and flipped him off as she backed out of the driveway.

Onyx didn't return home until almost 10:00 that night. She walked straight to the bedroom and collapsed onto the bed where Jake was laying in his boxers doing something on his Iphone. Jake sat his phone down on the night stand and rubbed Onyx's back. "How do you feel?" Jake asked.  
"Dead."  
Jake laughed, "just let me help."  
"It's fine. Jason has been helping a lot."  
"Jason Jason Jason." Jake mocked, "you've been spending a lot of time together."  
Onyx smiled, "If you haven't realized Jason is gay by now then you're crazier than I thought."  
Jake laughed, "I was playing around. But you're so tired all the time. I feel bad."  
"I'm getting the full engagement experience."  
Jake smirked and moved his hand lower down her back. He slid the tips of his fingers underneath her t-shirt and began to inch his hand down the back of her pants. Onyx rolled onto her back and pushed his hand away from her. "How many times must I tell you no sex?" Onyx asked.  
Jake threw himself flat on his back and rubbed his face with his palms. "I'm dying here Onyx!"  
"It hasn't been that long." Onyx laughed.  
"It's been three months and fifteen days!"  
"The fact that you know the exact amount of days is mind blowing."  
"And you walk around in your little underwear and bras and shit then you lay all over me but every time I try and touch you tell me no! You. Are. A. Tease!"  
Onyx snorted, "stop exaggerating. Besides if you're desperate enough you've still got your hands." Onyx waved her hand around and then pinched him on the cheek. Jake slapped her hand away and narrowed his eyes. "That's insulting. I lost interest in my hands at 13 the first time I..."  
"Shut up." Onyx said cutting him off, "You can make it until next Wednesday."  
"Fine." Jake said reluctantly.  
Onyx smiled and laid across his chest to kiss him.  
Jake looked punch drunk when she pulled away a few minutes later. "Tease." He mumbled.

"No strippers!" Onyx said sternly as she folded her arms across her chest. "I should say the same to you!" Jake replied, "I don't want any greased up dudes in banana hammocks shaking their asses in your face!" It was two days before the wedding and Jake and Onyx were standing in the bathroom getting ready for their bachelor/ bachelorette parties. "I don't even like strippers." Jake continued, "but I've seen how women act when they get around raw sausage."  
Onyx's scrunched her face at him, "Who even says stuff like that you creep."  
"Anyway." Jake plowed on, "You haven't had any of my good lovin in months and I don't want your hormones getting out of control tonight."  
Onyx snorted, "You're nuts Jacob and besides I already told Jason no strippers."  
"Good." Jake said with satisfied grin.  
"Sit down." Onyx commanded as she turned on the hair clippers. Jake shut the lid to the toilet seat and sat down. Onyx gave Jake a quick haircut and then quickly dusted the fallen hair off. Onyx placed her hands on his shoulders and lent down to kiss him. Jake grabbed her hips and pulled her closer to him. He ran his hands across her bare stomach giving her a tingling sensation. Onyx pried his hands off of her and placed her hands on her hips. "Behave tonight ok? No hard liquor and don't let any of your beast friends get you into trouble."  
"You got it mom." Jake said as he saluted her.  
Onyx walked away from him and plugged in her hair straightener. She was extremely excited for her bachelorette party but it didn't come close to the excitement she was feeling for the wedding. The past few days had gone by incredibly slow and Onyx was way past impatient. She couldn't wait to see Jake in his suit. Since she wouldn't let him see her in her dress he wouldn't let her see him in his suit. However she saw it in the closet within an hour of him bringing it home. He had a crimson colored tie and she assumed Josh had somehow tricked him into buying it. When Onyx finished her hair she walked into the bedroom and pulled on her dress. It was short, black, strapless, and made out of feathers. She placed a cheetah print belt around her waist and slipped on a pair of black heels. Jake entered the room and looked her up and down, "You look Hot.". He said simply as he pulled on a pair of black jeans. Jake also wore a green T-shirt, a gray Enjoi hoodie, and a pair of black DVS'.

When they finished getting ready Jake drove to Jason's house to drop her off Onyx. He grabbed Onyx's overnight bag out of the back seat and handed it to her. "I can't believe I'm not going to see you until Wednesday." Jake said sourly.  
"I know." Onyx said sadly, "but Jason and I have a lot of running around tomorrow and we won't get done until really late. You and I aren't supposed to be together the night before the wedding so there is no point in me coming home."  
Jake frowned, "Is there anything you want me to do?"  
Onyx kissed him on the cheek, "Just show up on Wednesday."  
Jake smirked, "Or what?"  
Onyx thought for a moment and smiled, "You don't want to know."  
"I'll be there."  
Jake kissed Onyx goodbye and smacked her butt as she got out of the car. Onyx flipped him off and then quickly walked up the driveway.

Once Onyx was safely inside he peeled out of the driveway and headed to the club Josh was throwing his bachelor party at. Jake pulled into the parking lot and slowly pulled his keys out of the ignition. In all actuality he would have rather spent the night with Onyx than at his bachelor party. Bachelor parties were meant to celebrate your last night being single but Jake hadn't been single for a very long time. He saw no point in it but he had promised Onyx that she would get a real wedding and bachelor/bachelorette parties were part of the wedding experience.

Jake walked inside and quickly found his group of friends. It wasn't hard seeing as they were the loudest in the entire club. The guys all crowded around him as he reached them. "Jake!" Jordan yelled excitedly as he clapped him on the back. Jake nodded at him and looked around for his brother. He found him sitting on a couch, drinking a beer, and talking to their friend Daniel. Jake pounded fists with Josh and sat down next to him.  
"It feels kind of weird throwing a bachelor party for someone who's already married." Josh yelled over the music. "yeah." Daniel yelled back, "but he got married the first time without telling any of us so he owes us this party!"  
"True." Josh agreed.  
Jake laughed and grabbed a beer from a bucket of ice. He sat around, drank beers, talked to his friends, and laughed at them as they attempted to hit on girls. Jake was enjoying chilling with his friends but he couldn't help but wonder what Onyx was doing.

Onyx was having a blast. All of her best friends from high school flew out for the party and the wedding. Onyx was the oldest nineteen year old that she knew of and for the first time in a long time she felt young. She laughed the entire night as they reminisced about all the fun they had back in California. It was fun feeling youthful again but would she have traded her life with Jake for that feeling? Never. You had to grow up sometime right? Onyx just grew up a lot faster than most people.

That night once their friends had left Onyx and Jason climbed into his bed. Onyx's mind had wandered to Jake and stayed there. She was starting to want to go home but she didn't have the car and Jason had been intoxicated for hours.  
She grabbed her blackberry and sent him a text

_Hey babe._

Onyx closed her eyes and felt her phone vibrate a few minutes later.

_Hey sexy. Having fun?  
_  
Onyx smiled and quickly replied.

_It's just me and Jason now. I miss you._

_I miss you too. Partying was a lot more fun before we got married. You've ruined me! Lol.  
_  
Onyx rolled her eyes and failed to suppress a smile.

_Whatever. Call me in the morning I'm sleepy :)._

_Alright. Love you._

_Love you too._

Onyx tossed her phone to the side and curled up into a comfortable position. She hated texting Jake it always left her wanting more. "Is the hubby ok?" Jason cooed.  
"He's dandy." Onyx yawned.  
"Onyx?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Did you invite your mom to the wedding?"  
"No. I'm not ready to forgive her yet."  
"I understand. What about Jake's mom? You've never mentioned her."  
"She's not coming either. She's basically the same as my mom. Except she returns his calls."  
"Wow." Jason said softly, "I could never deal with the shit you two deal with. How the hell do you do it?"  
"We have each other." Onyx replied simply, "I think it's clear we don't do well without each other."  
"Do you remember when I used to tell you your relationship wasn't healthy?"  
"Yeah." Onyx said awkwardly.  
"I was jealous."  
"Of what?"  
"I'd never seen love like that before. I just wanted it too."  
Onyx smiled, "You'll find it Jason. You know how people say when you meet the one you just know?"  
"Mhmmm."  
"It's true. I loved Jake the day I met him. I know that sounds stupid but I knew everything was going to change when he came up and talked to me. That will happen for you too."  
Jason laughed and kissed Onyx on the cheek, "Goodnight sweetie."  
"Goodnight."  
Onyx rolled over and faced the wall. She thought about the night she met Jake and how nervous she had been. She had never expected Jake to take the time to talk to her and she was shocked when he did. Thank goodness Jason had forced her to go out that night. That was the first day of her life. Nothing before then mattered.

"Why the hell am I so nervous? We're already married!" Jake said frantically as he paced the room. Jake caught sight oh himself in the mirror and frowned, "And why the hell is my tie so god damn red?"  
Josh laughed and straightened his brother's tie. "Calm down dude. And I told you already Onyx is wearing a necklace this color."  
"She better be!" Jake replied, "I'm going to kill you if I'm wearing a red tie for no reason."  
It was the day of their wedding and Jake was in full panic mode. He didn't understand why he was freaking out so much. Jake continued to pace and rubbed his hand over his freshly shaven face. "Calm down!" Josh said exasperatedly, "just sit down or something."  
Jake sat down on the bed and tied his converse.  
Josh rolled his eyes and straightened his own tie in the mirror, "it's going to be fine dude."

Onyx looked at her dress in the mirror and was relieved she still liked it. Her hair was in what Jason fondly called _"Kardashian waves"_ and she had accessorized with all black jewelry. Onyx took a deep breath and turned to face her bridal party.  
"Well?" She asked.  
They all began yelling at the same time and Onyx couldn't understand a word any of them said; but it sounded good. Onyx smiled and turned back to the mirror. She had never experienced a case of the butterflies quite like the ones she was currently experiencing. She couldn't wait to get her hands on Jake. It was incredibly sweet that he had wanted to give her a real wedding and Onyx was beyond happy. Jake was loud, cocky, stubborn, constantly smoking, always cursing, and an all around ass; but she was willing to bet nobody could love more passionately and honestly than he did. Jason stood next to Onyx and smiled, "You ready?"  
Onyx's eyes widened, "is it time already?"

Jake walked slowly up to the altar Josh, Ryan, Jordan, and Daniel following close behind him. Jake glanced at all the people watching him and wondered why the hell they had invited so many people. Josh patted him on the pack as they stood next to each other in the row. Jake scanned the crowd for the people most important to him. He spotted the Northwestern crew (with the exception of Edgar), the Time Bandit crew, the majority of his friends, and many relatives. Jake stopped scanning the crowd when the preacher appeared at his side. Jake didn't realize quite how sweaty his palms were until he shook the preacher's hand. He gave Jake a smile and turned away from him.

One by one Onyx's bridesmaids began to walk down the aisle. Onyx was hidden from view clinging tightly to Jason. She looked around as was extremely happy about the way everything looked. The wedding was taking place in a large garden behind a gorgeous villa. It was sunset and much of the light was provided by lanterns hanging from the trees. The whole set up had a very vintage feel and it was exactly what Onyx was going for. Onyx saw the crowd of people stand up and knew it was her turn to take the trip down the aisle.

Jake felt close to having a heart attack as he waited for Onyx to walk down the aisle. The only time Jake had been this anxious was while he was waiting for Onyx to give birth to their son. Jake rubbed his hands together and wiped sweat from his brow. His face Immediately broke into a wide smile as Onyx appeared. _'Nobody should be this beautiful.'_ Jake thought to himself as he took her in. Her hair tumbled all the way down her back and blew softly in the light breeze. Jake had never seen a wedding dress like the one Onyx was wearing and it fit her perfectly. _'That explains the tie.'_ Jake was relieved to see that Onyx looked as nervous as he did. Jake stepped forward and held his hand out for Onyx as she and Jason approached the altar. Onyx grabbed his hand and they stepped over to the preacher  
"Hi." Onyx said quietly. Jake noticed that her voice shook as she spoke.  
"Hey." Jake replied smiling.  
"Well!" The preacher said warmly, "We all know Onyx and Jacob are already married."  
A small murmur of laughter swept through the crowd. "So instead of the usual boring babble I'm forced to say." The Preacher continued, "Jacob and Onyx have each written something that they would like to share with each other. You first if you will Jacob."  
"Oh fuck ok...sorry" Jake said awkwardly making Onyx and their guests laugh. Jake reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper. He unfolded it with shaking hands and began to read...

_"Before I met you I was probably one of the biggest Douche bags in Washington. All that mattered to me was partying and getting fu..." _Jake looked around awkwardly, _"messed up every night. I didn't even believe in love. Every guy I knew who was married either complained about their wives or ended up getting a divorce. I didn't want to be like that. Then I went out with my boys and saw this bangin girl sitting outside by herself. I went up to you with the intention of just taking you back to my place, but as soon as you smiled at me I knew I was screwed. It only took me an hour to fall for you. After that night we spent all our time together and I was willing to do anything and everything to be with you. When you told me you were going back to __California__ it felt like I had been punched in the gut. I didn't want to lose you so I asked you to marry me."_Jake smiled_, "That was the best decision I ever made, but I didn't know marriage was hard work. We were in love so I figured that was all that mattered. I had no clue it took a lot more than just that. You needed things like communication. Umm... I'm not the best at communicating just ask Josh. I put you through so much and you never complain. You believed in me at a time i know a lot of people didn't. I've made a lot of mistakes I mean a lot of mistakes and in the end you always forgive me. I'll never understand what I did to get so lucky. I must have been one hell of a dude in my past life. But I promise I'll never ever make you question whether I really love you again. You mean more than the world to me and I promise I'm going to prove it to you._" Jake folded the paper and put it back in his pocket. "Umm that's it."

Jake looked up and was surprised to see tears streaming down Onyx's face. "I love you." She mouthed as she wiped away her tears. "I love you too." He mouthed back. Jake glanced around and was surprised to see that many people in the crowd were also crying.

"Your turn Onyx." The preacher said with a smile. Onyx turned around and waited for Jason to pull the paper out of his pocket. She took it from him with trembling fingers and turned back to face Jake. She took a deep breath and began to read...  
_  
"When... When I met you I was just an insecure girl who hid behind all her tattoos. You were the first person to ever make me feel beautiful. When you look at me I feel like you're really seeing me. You always see past the fake smile and I can't express how grateful I am for that. You're the only person I can completely be myself with without worrying that you're going to think I'm an idiot. There isn't anything I don't love about you Jake. You may be rude and sometimes arrogant but you're also the sweetest most understanding person I know. I wouldn't change one thing about you. You're my match babe and I can't believe I found you. I can honestly say after losing our baby you're the only thing that kept me alive. Everything is nothing with without you and I promise I'll never turn my back on you. I don't know what else I can say besides I love you Jacob Harris, and thank you for loving me."_

Jake couldn't have stopped himself from crying if he had tried. That was his girl. His sweet, beautiful, intelligent, hilarious, perfect girl.  
"Alright Jacob!" The preacher declared, "Kiss your wife!" Jake didn't need to be told twice. He wrapped his arms around Onyx and held her tightly as he kissed her. Onyx wrapped her arms his neck and stood on her tippie toes. "I love you." She said as she pulled away.  
"I love you too." Jake said as he grabbed her hand and led her back down the aisle. Their family and friends stood up and applauded as they passed.  
Jake leaned in and kissed her on the cheek as they left their past full of pain behind and headed toward their future. They didn't know what it held all they knew for sure was that they would have each other. Always.

_**I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everythings nothing without you  
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you**_

_**Through it all, I made my mistakes  
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words**_

_**I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go**_

_**Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt  
Pieces of memories fall to the ground  
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go  
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you**_

_**All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go  
I've come to an end**_

_**I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go**_

_**In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you don't know what you're looking to find  
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies  
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)**_

_**I don't want this moment to ever end  
Where everythings nothing without you**_

_**I want you to know  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go (I want you to know)  
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul  
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'cause I'd bleed my heart out to show  
And I won't let go**_

_**With me -**__**Sum 41**_

**Thanks for reading!  
As always please review (:  
And please check out Under The Rose.**


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